Vanity's Journal

I am sorry I have been away a while. I've been dealing with a lot of issues and just needed some time to myself away from everything (*in 'real' life and 'online' life). I hope you are all well and ~I am back if anyone needs me :)

I am pretty happy as I've been out more seeing friends (probably still drinking too much though). I am feeling less lonely.

I spoke before about a guy I met. We are now 'official' and I am so happy. We get on so well and have such a nice time. And for the first time in a long while I feel comfortable having sex, and more importantly 'cuddling' and being intimate. I relax around him and feel I can trust him. He knows about all that is going on (the case) and some of my past (abuse by partners etc) and has taken it in his stride and doesn't seem to see me any differently. He has been there for me and spoken to me when I needed him, and what I really like is that he doesn't bring anything up and treats me normally unless I need to talk to him about things.

I am so happy. I get a few issues from my friends as I tend to go for older guys - and this guy is 19 yrs my senior (I am 22 and he is 41). He is not the kind who chases after young girls and the age gap isn't something we feel or even notice most of the time. I am a mature 22 yr old, with a lot of (positive and negative) life experience and he is a young minded, energeticx guy. We just get on and feel happy - so I don't see a problem with it. I can understand my friends' concerns, and it is sweet they care - but it is not like it is how they see it.

I am happy and I don't really care what they think - they haven't met him and only see it in cliche, pre-judged terms.

How I feel is all that matters, especially after everything I have been through. It is refreshing to be able to not care so much what other people think :)