Vanity's Journal

As per my journal the other day - I had another 'confrontation' with my friend who was insensitive and told somone about my attack. I had tried to 'make up' with her and talk about things but she had been ignoring me. But as it is the Rugby 6 nations today - a big deal here in Wales - and she is quite into Rigby, I thought I'd text her and see how she was and what she was doing for it. Well, I wish I hadn't bothered!

I text her: '[Her name], r we ok? After I told you how I felt you've gone really quiet with me?Btw, what r u doing for the rugby today?x x x'

This is what I got back: 'Jess, I am in London for a job interview. I don't have time for another of your dramas! Please just give it a damn rest!'

Am I weird in that this upsets me? Why do I have to say sorry for her being insensitive. And even when I do she has a go at me - like it's 'just' a drama!!! She was a witness - had to go to court, so how can she not understand how this feels for me? I didn't expect her to talk over things with me, I very rarely have asked her to 'be there' for me or anythign like that. In fact, I talk about it all pretty 'matter of factly' (apparently a pretty normal PTSD type response to things - I have major dissociation with the whole thing). I can't believe that someone who saw how much of a state I was in that night, and has been to court so can understand at least a fraction of how stressful that was for me - can be this insensitive.

It's the whole thing that people think that after a certain amount of time you should be 'over' it. I even told her the 'anniversary' was getting to me - and she didn't seem to care.

I think I was quite justified in sending this back:

'Og for god sake, I am just trying to be nice. I wasn't having a drama before, only telling you how I felt as I thought you were being pretty insenstitive to my feelings. God lu7ck with your interview'.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It just adds so much to all the feelings of anger inside.