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Forgotten89 
10:55am, November 23, 2008
Hi iam kind of new to this thing but i just wanted to share my story and see if any one could help me. It starts when i was 7 years old when me my brother and my mother moved to Virgina. From then until i was 14 my moms girlfreind would beat me and torture me. Some examples would be, she would make me stuff half a bar of soap into my mouth until all the soap desolved and then make me eat acidy foods like ketchup and vinager. One time she threw me down the stairs because i ate a bowl of her cerial. Bev my moms girlfriend was around 350 pounds and would sit on my chest for at least fifteen mins because she thought i lied to her. She forced me to masterbate in front of her once and then slap me until my nose started to bleed. She also made me live in the basment for months at a time because she beleived that i didnt belong to the family, i wasnt aloud to see or speak to my mother of brother for all that time. i wasnt aloud to eat, drink, sleep or go to the bathroom unless she gave me permission. those are some things that she had me do i have enough examples that would take up pages but i thought i would say those things just to show you were iam coming from. Know adays i feel unloved and cast out from everyone. i feel like i cant trust anyone and i am just a burden on everyone else. My ex Britt used to be the only person that i thought loved me but i screwed that all up and now i wish i would have just killed my self months ago. i guess what iam trying to say is that i need help i need some advise to help me start trusting ppl. or even be able to put my self out there to feel loved. Me and Britt are trying to get back together but it just seems latly that all i do is keep pushing her away, i think its because i expect to much out of our relationship. PLEASE i need help iam falling down a hole and i cant see the top any more, i want to be happy again.
Comments
Oh dear one,
I wish none of this had ever happened to you. What horrible experiences for any child or human being to have to suffer...really.
I am sitting here hoping upon hope that you get every bit of happiness
you can....you deserved none of this and since I read your post the other day I wonder about you throughout the day and hoping you find
resources...please just remember you have to ask...that is the most important thing...ok? keeping you in my heart, earthlake
truthtelr
So sad, so very sad, brought me to tears.
You know when people have traveled a similar path there is a connection, an understanding.
I am so sorry your past was so horrific and that the feelings are with you today.
You can get through this, you are stronger than you even know..........your little boy that lives in you got you through it and survived, go within, take him by the hand and help him heal, protect him, nourish him and get the professional help to help you understand all you are going through and to show you there is a an amazing inspiring young man waiting to grow.
It is tough work, but you are a survivor and an amazing young man.
nadine62