caz16's Journal

hi, and thank you so much for all your hugs and prayers, no one knows how much that has meant to me thank you thank you thank you,

well i kicked myself out of bed at 5am this morning had a racing heart and shaking legs once again, made myself  a drink got ready and watched it get light, wanted to come on ds but if i did i know i would of stayed here instead of going to the hospital,

got to the hospital 7.45am and was called in 10 miniuts later had to strip off and wear one of those lovely hospital gowns omg, then the nurse tried to put a canulla in my arm and she couldn't get a vain so she put it in the other arm, so i was sqirming as although its only a pin prick i don't like it,well sat for two hours with a drip attatched and it was freezing,

while sitting there i had a blurred vision attack again and the machine i was hooked up to went haywire, the nurses came running over and i had to lie on the bed for a while, they turned down the lights and brought me a cup of tea,

then when i felt better i sat back in the chair still with my friend attatched to my arm with a blanket over me, and although they Called Nigel my hubby in to sit with me i wasn't really with it, thats how blurred vision linked to migrane leaves me,

well there were five of us another lady and me and three men all in for a angiogram and one man for a pacemaker, well i looked oposite me and what a site, there was a old man sitting with his legs wide open showing his paper pants we all had to wear lol, and gawping at me, i looked away and when i glanced over again his eyes were fixed on me ,

well what could he be looking at, my gown was fastened my dressing gown was in place, besides my hair sticking up like a cockrel i really don't know what he was looking at,

well 10.30 came and we was all told we would have to come back next wednesday as the heart machine that checks on the dye broke down and they couldn't get it working,

nurse asks is that ok with you, No i said i can't go through with anxiety again and i feel fine and i wish i never went to the doctors in the first place now, so she got my notes and told me that my ecg from when i had to go on the treadmill was only a week apart from the first one and there was a dip so they knew there is some narrowing of the arteries and they need to check how much and what can be done, and if i don't have it done i could have a heart attack later on, WOW i really wanted to know that, WORRIED

so the next thing is i am told because of my anxietys i have to take loiazepam for sunday, monday, tuesday, night when i go to bed and wednesday morning, thats all i need,

well thats the news so far, anyway we went to Birmingham yesterday for my dad's birthday and went to see my grandchildren, to which one of them put her shoes on and said wanna come to your house nan, i said but you have to go to playgroup tomorrow, she said no playgroup wanna come to your house, they are so sweet, well that lightened my heart,

got home and Olive a old lady over the road brought me a card and a lilttle gift bless her, then i really missed getting on ds this morning oh its hard not to be able to satisfy my crave for ds and friends lol

got back home today, had lots of visitors neighbours all coming to see me, then managed to get on ds, and OMG so overwelming the love and prayers, hugs, ect from lots of you here i will always be gratefull and thankfull to you all, and Misty a special thank you to you,

can't wait to talk tomorrow,

so for now i have to get back to normal for a short while and ask you all please don't smoke, it may happen to you or worse, happiness is much better than hospital visits wether something wrong or not,

well god bless you all, sending massive amounts of love

Carol xxxxxxx