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MsCowgirl 
1:31pm, October 25, 2009
Finally home and so glad for it. The time away was spent trying to help my elderly parents through one crisis after another. My dads dementia deteriorated very rapidly. In the first week, he failed to recognise us, time lost its meaning for him and his mind started played tricks on him. He hardly slept, and nor did we, constantly worried for his safety and what he would do next. It was a relief that inevitably he was admitted to hospital.
God was looking down on us though. Within the space of a month, mum trialled and was accepted for permanent low care in a facility less than 1km from their home of 40yrs. I lodged an application also for dad at the same facility, but as he was assessed as high care, I worried he would end up in dementia-specific care miles away. Within 2wks, he also was offered a place. Of all the ups and downs, the best outcome is that they now both live within the same facility.
That all sounds so smooth, but the reality was the time was a cascade of stressful events. We tried helping mum pack up the family home, tried respecting her thoughts, tried to help dad in his lucid moments cope with the fate he knew awaited him. We sorted out their business affairs, finalised many projects that were part-undone and took over the domestic chores.
Some snapshots of time linger in my brain. Like the moment dad realised that he was never going home again and that his future involved constant supervision and relentless confusion of his thoughts. Another was seeing my mums face, frightened of the man she had been married to for nearly 65yrs. I hope I can live with the fact that I instigated this move. I know it has to be for their own safety and well-being, but I hope most of all that they do not feel as though they have been dumped by their young.
We needed to come home, to regain our sanity. The days now are being spent slashing the waist-high winter grass thats come up since we were gone, writing my name in the dust on the dresser before it's gets cleaned, wading through half a house-load of memorabilia that we've inherited and smooching up to the two pussycats who still have not forgiven us for being gone so long.
I missed everyone so much and I'm hoping you are all well. I'll catch up with you as soon as I can. It's so good to be home.
Comments
I'm so happy the both of you made it back safe. I know how hard it is to see your parents getting older and with the sickness that comes with it. I've been praying for all of you. Sounds like you have had you hands full. You are a wonderful daughter to be able to handle this for your parents. I'm sending all my love, prayers and healing thoughts your way!!! Big Gental Hugs, Peach
peachbutterfly
Welcome home! I have missed you so. The last year has been "one thing after another" and it is definitely stressful. I don't believe your parents would feel that they have been dumped, you were able to find them a safe home in the same facility and that is a big deal. Bob's parents and his aunt all found themselves needing care at the same time and put themselves in communitees that provided health care.
Aunt Marge suffered from Macular degeneration and knew she would be blind in the not too distant future so she required a different type of care and had to go to a different facitity. Dad had Parkinsons and suffered a stroke, and never fully recovered. They were able to plan ahead and chose the same outcome that you provided for your parents.
Although you've got a lot to do at home, getting into the groove of taking care of your own home will be soothing for you both. We bought our home from Bob's parents so rather than get rid of the stuff they couldn't take with them to a one room home, they left it all for us. It's been 7 years and I still have some stuff that I don't want but feel guilty about getting rid of, silly isn't it?
Once again, I'm glad you're back - a lots been going on in my world too...big, huge, gentle hugs...jilly
JillyT
oh, it's so good to know you're home! missed you a lot. keep smilin, sweetie, you'll get your reward in heaven!
hugs,
brat
docsbrat
I'm glad to see you back. i know how hard it must have been for you - my mother had senile dementia so I know what that is like. It is nice to be home when you have been through such a stressful time. Warm hugs...
Lynne
lycesq
It is really good to see you back. I really did miss you being on here. It sounds like you have really been through it with your parents and all. It sure is tough when you see your parents get so old and start slipping. I lost My Mom a couple of years ago and it seems like only yesterday. It sounds like God has been on your side, that's a really good thing. Some days I feel like My wife and I are starting down that road that your parents have just traveled. Scary really.
With much love,
Joey
Joey1234
welcome back !!
stillhavehope