MsCowgirl's Journal

Today is fine and sunny................

Listening to the long-range weather forecast on the radio and hoping for a wet winter to rehydrate our dry earth made me think about this condition and the similarities between the two.

When we have barometric lows approaching the air takes on a menacing feel, even the birds, animals and insects know in advance to prepare for bad weather, the ants suddenly become more active and birds prepare to bunker down. My body too now knows those signs of impending bad weather (flare) coming. I can feel it coming and right now, like the weather, it is beyond any control. Those grey clouds keep rolling in, while I wait feeling unsettled and tentative.

As the storm approaches, the air and my body crackle with lightening. Flashes of painful lightening attack without warning, stopping me instantly in my tracks with such vengence. I'm so blinded by the intensity I can't even think straight. At times the lightening starts fires where it struck that burn deep into the joints. Then I wait nervously for that deep, rolling, constantly aching pain that cuts to the core, like the thunder that rolls on into infinity across the sky with no edges, no shape and no limits. 

You hope the worst has passed but then comes the torrential rain; hitting the earth with such force it bounces back up or worse still blown sideways by the force of the wind, so much so it stings your body with every drop that hits you. Gradually the rain calms to a steady fall and settles in for the long haul. My "umbrella" is useless in a flare, like medication it might help a bit, but I'm still going to get very wet, or worse-still, soaked right through. The thunder still grumbles into the far distances of the sky. Eventually and hopefully, the spot-fires of pain are extinguished.

If I'm lucky I'll soon see a rainbow and the pain will settle within a few days. On other days the showers keep coming until the low has past. Right now this is where I am. I can feel the sun coming out a bit from behind the clouds. The flare is lifting and I'm so glad the height of the storm has passed. The high pressure system moves in and with it my body takes a huge sigh of relief. Getting through today will not be so hard I hope, as the last few weeks. I'll hear the birds singing again and that will lift my spirits. There's still clouds in the sky like pain, some very grey, others light and fluffy but the little glimpse of sunshine that I can see inbetween is giving me respite right now for the moment.

Tomorrow will be sunny and fine, I hope and pray.............