Journal

I had received a Progesterone injection on Tuesday 11/10 and still haven't had my period yet. The last injection was 10/2 and I had started 6 days after getting it. I've been having little pains like Im getting ready to start. My nipples are sensitive to the touch, I've been getting a little emotional since yesterday evening, my bowels aren't moving normally like they were (i know tmi)I can't seem to get comfortable when I go to bed and I'll toss and turn for a good 30mins. My dr prescribed Femara but it don't look like Im going to take it soon because I still haven't started. This has got me worried about what the dr is going to do next week if I don't start by Tuesday, which 14 days will be up by then.

DF and I are wanting a baby so bad that we can't see straight but I keep telling him not to get his hopes up to high because they'll be shot down like every thing else. Last night when he mentioned that I could be pregnant we had a big smile on our face. What I was planning on doing when I did start my period start counting 30-34 days to take a pregnancy test at the drs office and if it was around Christmas, I would be giving our parents some kind of baby item wrapped up, but that don't seem to be happening. I have taken 2 hpt (1 this morning and 1 on Wednesday) and they both were BFN. DF said that they could be false negatives and I told him yeah but maybe it is a true negative. I guess I've been down this road so long that it'll be a miracle without the Femara that I get pregnant. I'll find out either next week or wait for time to tell.

    I just told my mom off today. She owes my Billy's (DF) grandma money and she has excuses of why don't she send her some money. He was invited to my sister's wedding back in September and he couldn't set at the bride's family table because he isn't family. I told my mom that if he isn't family then I don't want to be in this family no more and hung up on her. She has lied to me so much and don't understand what Im going through with TTC and every day things of my life since I was dx'd with TTP (thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura) back in 2002. I was about to die a couple of times when my platelets were only 900 (normal is 140,000-450,000) and they was giving up on me. Billy made me eat when I didn't want to and my parents didn't have the patience to help me survive. I don't remember much of anything then but some stuff I do remember.

    It hurt me more than anything when she told me that he isn't family and I told her that we have been together for 9 years and she said so. Billy's family looks to me as part of their family, but my own family can't accept him as part of the family. You got to know how they treat me, and know how they are. Billy has done work for them like Sunday 11/1 he put siding back up when the wind blew it off and fixed a gutter. Well he isn't going to do no more for them! They can hire help. I don't know if anyone else has been in the same boat, but it sucks. Writing this helps some but not a lot.