GlamGrif's Journal

I'm feeling a lot better today, but I am a bit wistful.  This time last year I was riding high after getting the all-clear on an endometrial biopsy.  At that point all I had to worry about was school and working this job I'm at right now.

I had minor twangs of pain from time to time, but thought it was just a polyp thing (and probably was).  I got put on birth control pill #15 with that doctor's "guarantee" that all would be right with the universe if I stayed on it.  Unfortunately, it didn't work out like that.  The Lybrel wound up being the harbinger to 8 months of feeling bad and relationship-straining irritability.  Wonder drug it's not.

How I wound up doing fifteen nearly-identical combinations of tiny estrogen and tiny progesterone is completely beyond me.  If I had to guess, I would say that it is because I didn't use to have any self-esteem and had very minute amounts of self-worth.  Now that I have both, I'm less likely to put up with bullshit from physicians.

I think that everything that I've been through over the past year has really made me stronger!  Metaphorically speaking, of course; I am still rather weak at times.  But my spirit is strong and my hopes are high that even if a physician can't help me, that other avenues are open to me to help myself.

I long, long ago cast aside the idea that ordering medicine online was somehow "bad."  I came to the decision on Thursday that if I could not get ahold of an antinauseal medicine in the next 2 weeks -- then I'm ordering them online.

Clinician, heal thyself?  I give advice on a regular basis.  Before too long, I'll be listening and giving advice as a full-time career as a psychologist.  And what would be my advice to someone in my position, if I were totally honest?  I would say that if you could not get full relief with a doctor and could not find another, to obtain the medicine that works for you from a reasonably-safe source.  So if nothing else, I have that backup.  If I can get well enough to work part-time, I could afford to go a surgical route after a while.  That's the idea anyway.