GlamGrif's Journal

Okay, so I set my weight goal as -10 lbs a while ago and have been through almost one week of Body For Life.  I had hellacious bloat going on when I went to the NP on 12/29 and weighed 294 including all that swelling.  I'm 285 now, and I had thought that I was really 289 -- so overall pretty happy so far!

I haven't been 100% "good" with eating every meal and meal spacing and overate a couple of times.  But all in all, it's gone very well!    Saturday is my "off day" so the GF and I are going out to Burger Queen to get whoppers.  We'll probably be so sick on Sunday that we'll never want another cheeseburger again!

I'm avoiding wheat flour but not going totally gluten-free, and that seems like it is helping.  The flax bread is glorified cardboard though. Pleh!  Tastes better with butter on it though ans softens some.

The changes have been pretty amazing!  My psoriasis had been flared up like crazy and I was afraid that it would start to scar on my forehead.  Now it's almost totally gone on my face, so REALLY happy about that!  Also, my fatigue seems to be lifting, which is awesome!

The pain has almost entirely subsided -- better period than I've had in years if ever!  Had almost zero cramping and almost zero Endo pain!

I also found out that a part-time contract is renewing, which I did not expect at all.  Obviously, very happy there too!  I'm soo happy to at least have a part-time job with unemployment on the rise.  I was so sick the last time I worked that I had to be scolded a couple of times - busiest 2 days of the year and I can't get it together!  I was so afraid I'd puke and there was no one on-site who could relieve me.  Ugh hate that, makes me seem so unprofessional.  My boss is a really nice guy, but he was off-site too and it could mean tens or hundreds of thousands in loss if I couldn't make it work for the 6 hours I was scheduled.

No pressure or anything LOL!   

I'm in the middle of restructuring my business from having clients to just floating out there and doing my own thing.  I like the word "restructuring" 'cuz it sounds all fancy-like I think I'll still occasionally go for small jobs, but overall... I don't want to let anyone down by being sick all the time.    Making/maintaining my own sites is the way to go.

I've still got a luandry list of things to do for my biggest (and really only) client that will probably burn up about 10 hours this weekend.  He's a nice guy and I hate having taken so long about this (since Summer for some of it), but I appreciate him for being so understanding.  He works in the natural health field (in that area) so I feel like he actually "gets it" even though I can't tell him the specifics.

I'd have to out myself.  I'm pretty sure that he'd be okay with me being female, but I like having a couple of interactions where I'm not always "The Tranny" you know?  I hate that "different" feeling, I want to go back to just being an average guy with everyone.

I'm moving to his neck of the woods in August/September so he will probably know eventually, but I'm pretty happy about how it is now.

I went to a small party on New Year's Eve, totally regretted it.  I can't stand being "The Tranny" and with them I will always be The Tranny or M's Boyfriend since they all work with/know her.  We're friendly, but I know they don't respect me.  As far as I'm concerned, I was just there to make them enchiladas.  I rarely drink, and I downed two wine-cooler type things fast and almost had two more.  If I had to deal with them without M, I'm pretty sure I would have got shit-faced (but without M, I wouldn't have bothered to show up so...)

Oh well, I promised myself that I wouldn't come to another party until at least until I've been back on hormones for a couple of months.  If ever.  I just do not enjoy hanging out with people with a huge "open secret" out there.  They all work at the same shop, so I'm thinking about actually going to the competing store even though it means I'd have to bus across town to the mall, or go when I'm heading to school anyway.

Anyway, I'm really over it except I need to get my MIL's pan back before she notices.  This is all mostly for me to remind myself next time M says we'll show up somewhere and next time I jump at the chance to go out.