Jaxiepoo's Journal

So, I found out something recently from my "best friend" something pretty personal, and i honestly dont care what it was, but one, I never thought it would be that, 2 why would they keep that from me and let everyone else know, 3 it made me realize how much i ditched them and how everything is changing. I am soo depressed now and at first i found it funny and it wasnt a big deal but now, they are avioding me. so wtf... Why is it such a big deal? Dammit dude, i just wanna cry and let go of everything, im trying my hardest to start over now and become a new person, become a better person, and finally let go of the negativeness and my shitty thoughts and unsatisfying past. But how can I let go when i cant change my thinking process and Ive already lost my way of life and everything that mattered to me? Someone help me.. On second thought, i dont want any comments or replies to this, im just venting and i want to scream and yell and hit myself becuase i cant deal with the fact that im such a fuckup and i can never do the right thing.. FML