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M3NTALLYLOST 
12:04pm, June 30, 2009
Wow its been over a month I’m OK I guess, well a lot better than a month ago, or way better than 8 months ago. I’ve been going to the same therapist every week for almost two months now. I really think it is helping. I have uncovered some really disturbing issues about my past, I still can’t tell if I am disconnected or relieved or both. They do explain A LOT about who I am. I have found a place in my awake consciousness to hold everything and keep it at bay a little better. Honest flashbacks are short and controllable for the most part. Bad dreams are less now that I am talking about them to someone. I have become addicted to something very, very unhealthy … the Rubik’s Cube … LOL. I have 53 and 14 more ordered in the mail. I do not know why but I HAVE to solve them. My therapist looked at some of my art work over my life and pointed out the fact that there is a reoccurring pattern of mazes, radiant forms, and puzzles. Did I say I HAVE to solve the Rubik’s Cube now. I sleep with them, pet them, order different stickers, and even have one that is 7x7x7 vs the standard 3x3x3. My husband is awesome and supportive, he pointed out that I started to Cube about 8 months ago when I was really bad in the head. I guess that I have always needed to deal with my child hood and never did. Well here I am dealing with it. I’ll try to write more often.
UPDATED GOALS
Rape Recovery
Progress 65%
Encouragements: 0
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