Divorced single mom of hyper, very intelligent, 2nd grader. My ex-husband, and father of my child, is a classic abusive functional alcoholic/addict who I am still dependent on for financial support and help with my child. I've been diagnosed through the years with lots of things including: BP I, BPII; BP NOS; GAD, ADHD, PD, OCD, PTSD, Chronic and Major depression; Adjustment disorder... etc. I've been on tons of different RXs over the years, and I've never, ever been "right" for any sustained period of time. My best was probably during college and/or law school and since then, maybe one 6-8 month period, starting about 3 months after the first time I separated from my ex. (We were separated/back together on and off for years and years before I finally divorced him 2 yrs ago...and I even went back with him after the divorce! LOL) Two yrs ago I had a "nervous breakdown" (even though such a thing doesn't clinically exist) and have been disabled as far as my profession goes since then. I am unemployed and MUST find a way to get back to work but I cannot go back into my profession and I do not know how to do anything else anymore. Even if I did think I could do other things, I'd change my mind in a day or two and be in bed again. I'm so depressed and fearful of the world now that I can't seem to do anything but think myself into circles and wear myself out and need to sleep but be unable to do so.
Divorced single mom of hyper, very intelligent, 2nd grader. My ex-husband, and father of my child, is a classic abusive functional alcoholic/addict who I am still dependent on for financial support and help with my child. I've been diagnosed through the years with lots of things including: BP I, BPII; BP NOS; GAD, ADHD, PD, OCD, PTSD, Chronic and Major depression; Adjustment disorder... etc. I've been on tons of different RXs over the years, and I've never, ever been "right" for any sustained period
Other than my son - which is tied to this -right now my only interest is in tying to figure out how to reclaim my life - all the old interests are really not interesting anymore.
Other than my son - which is tied to this -right now my only interest is in tying to figure out how to
November 12, 2008 2:47pm
I find it strange that today I feel comforted because I have accepted that I am BP.
The very same thought that sent me spiraling before now …
November 11, 2008 12:04pm
I couldn't even get all the way through the classifieds because everything I looked at that I once would have thought of as a job I could EASILY …
November 10, 2008 8:50pm
11-11-08
I am so fearful, that I am even afraid of my fear. My anxiety is so high, and my depression so strong, that I cannot go anywhere and I cannot …
November 10, 2008 8:49pm
11-8-08
Sometimes people have breakdowns and they are never again “the same” and by this I mean they are never “good” …
My message to you in my journal...
Hello. I just wanted to send warm blessings your way and I'm thinking of you. You are in my prays and thoughts. Big hugs for you!!
Hope you will feel better soon.
Happy Thanksgiving! How are you? Ready today's journal entry if you want to laugh!
Welcome back.
Had a meltdown 2yrs ago & can't get back to "myself" - whoever that is.
