DAY 1 This is the beginning of …
DAY 1 This is the beginning of what I hope will be the next best part of my life. I struggle with an addictive …
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riedj 
8:15pm, December 14, 2008
So, I am working in my "Gambling Addiction and Recovery" workbook and I have a task so to speak. I am not to lie at all for 5 days! I am sooo scared! What am I to do if someone says"does this make me look fat?" Does this count? I can't say "Why yes it does." I don't want to hurt anyone so maybe I will just be honest with myself, friends and family. I don't know.
Going to my Thursday volunteer tomorrow... I enjoyed it last week. Also, just emailed angie@hugsforsoldiers.org to adopt a soldier for care packages, cards, encouragement, etc. I am really into helping others (meaningfully) which is really helping my recovery.
Have to go to get some more blood work completed tomorrow. My thyroid is overactive and I need to go for more tests to see where the levels put out are at. so, I am a little worried as I really haven't had anything "wrong" with me in my 26 years. 'Wrong" as in health-health not in "CG, alcoholic help." LOL
GA has been great. Met a great person Kathy with whom we instantly connected and are what each other needs to get through this addiction. I have actually met a friend. Not a gambling "friend" or a drinking "friend." She has joined this group and is on my friends list if anyone wants to giver her a welcome shout. My LDG was 11/2 and her's was 11/5. We are walking together.
Well, in 13 minutes I will have completed my 17th day od sobriety from gambling and alcohol. I don't think I have gone this long without a drink since I turned 21. (Maybe a little before too) I feel good. I think about having a drink but I am scared it would lead me back down the gambling path. I feel as if my drinking got heavier as my gambling did. Before I would drink often but not to the point of no return as I did when I was gambling. I didn't have to "make it ok in my brain" when i wasn't gambling. I simply drank to have a few beers. If and when I will ever be able to seperate the two, I don't know. I don't know if I will ever even really want to have a drink again and risk all of the possibilities that may come with. Time and counseling will tell. All I know is alcohol is not that important...... I was always fine at home or at a restaurant. It went down hill when I was at an establishment with machines that I got blitzed. It was my way of enabling myself.
Anyways, day 18 starting soon so I better catch some zzz's. Thank you to everyone who has given me support and please keep me in your prayers as I will you as well.
J
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Dear Riedj's,
I do not know about gambling but I do know a lot about alcohol addiction. Once the damage is done to your body by booze it is just better to do without it. Your really smart to quit them both as one probable leads to the other. Good luck, Eric
weinere46
Does this dress make me look fat?--------Wrong answer--"Don't blame it on the dress."----- Correct amswer--"Oh, what gorgeous fabric."
and..............17 days is great!!!!!!! WTG!!!!!!
Keep up the good work......huggs
eastwester
So great to read a journal entry from you! I am so proud of all of the work you are doing! Congrats on 17 days, this is wonderful! Thanks for the email addy for adopting a soldier, I'm going to do the same myself.
Love and hugs,
Julie
searchingfor
hello,
good for you, 17 days. what a wonderful journey this will be. keep your head up, and if the dress makes her look fat, indicate that she has a beautiful face. much love to the journey.
Connecticut.
connecticut
What a good test. 5 days without lying - when we have been doing this habitually it's hard not to but you can do this. Recovery is so good. Teaching us so much about ourselves and showing us new opportunities to give to others. I am so glad to hear that you have connected with people at GA. I have done the same and love it. GA is a place where I do feel levelled. I am understood and I understand - much like here.
Hugs and WTG on 18 days. Suzi
Auzgurl