Goldilox2's Journal

This is for my Dad... 

 

 

 

I REMEMBER

 

Around and around we twirl

As I perch on his broad shoulders,

And grab his hair with both hands

…white knuckled with gleeful terror.

 

He tightly grasps my legs against his chest

With his mitten sized hands.

I throw my head back, long hair blowing through the air.

Hardly able to catch my breath,

We twirl and twirl and he lets out

Loud guffaws of glee, saying….

Don’t worry, everything will be alright

I love you sweetheart.

 

I sit cross legged in the couch corner,

My place always of comfort and safety,

Watching him, as the newspaper covers his face.

As if he feels me looking, he lets go of the paper,

And lets it fall to his lap.

He looks at me with furrowed brow,

And a question in his eyes.

I am too afraid to tell him of all my fears.

He winks and gives his half smile, and says…

Don’t worry, everything will be alright.

I love you sweetheart.

 

Days turn into months, months to years,

And time passes like you were flipping

Through the pages of a book.

I miss him, even though he calls,

Just when I seem to need to hear his voice.

I quietly tell him of my fears and challenges,

But leaving out my worst nightmares.

He seems to know, and says…

Don’t worry, everything will be alright.

I love you sweetheart.

 

The day the call came, I felt something disturbing,

Deep in my soul, even before the voice said,

Come quickly, he is fading fast.

Time seemed to stand still as I rushed to be by his side.

 

Tears quickly falling from my eyes onto his pillow,

As I lay my head on his chest.

He engulfed me in one of his tight bear hugs,

Only weaker.

I pressed my face deeper into him, smelling his familiar smell,

Never wanting to forget it.

I heard him weakly say…..

Don’t worry, everything will be alright.

I love you sweetheart.

 

I stand in front of the large glass window,

Peering out into the darkness,

Watching the heavy rain slapping against the sidewalks.

 

I close my eyes, trying to squeeze the tears inside,

And I feel him walk up behind me and fold me in a tight squeeze,

Almost lifting me off my feet.

I can hear him softly whisper in my ear…

Don’t worry, everything will be alright.

 

I feel his heart beating against my back,

To those oh so familiar words,

I love you sweetheart

I love you sweetheart.

 

Only, it was the pounding of my own heart I was hearing.

I love you daddy.

I miss you daddy.

I love you daddy.