Journal Entry for June 18, 2009
June 18, 2009 5:18pm
Progress
15 %
smmstevenson 
3:19pm, August 26, 2009
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About Me
smmstevenson
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About Me
I am the proud mother of 3 children. One daughter {13}, & 2 sons {9 & 3}. I have been involved with my abuser for 18 years. We dated for 9 of those years and were married for the remaining 9 years. I never realized the term "emotional abuse" ever existed. I was far too familiar with physical abuse as my step-father was abusive to my mother usually when he had been drinking. She continued to take him back, time after time. Sadly, but finally, HE had to be the one strong enough to be the one to leave as his addiction moved on from alcohol to crack. I categorized the cursing and yelling that I witnessed as a precursor for the physical abuse. In my own relationship there was very few episodes of physical abuse, however after an argument, I was left feeling horrible and the feelings lingered in the air for weeks. B/c I was unfamiliar w/emotional and verbal abuse, I did not how to diagnose this and was unable to research treatment methods. Knowledge really is power. With my new found knowledge I have finally gathered enough strength to leave my abuser. It has only been a short few weeks, but I hope to continue to utilize DS to gather the strength I need to find myself:) the person I was before all of the abuse began.
I am the proud mother of 3 children. One daughter {13}, & 2 sons {9 & 3}. I have been involved with my abuser for 18 years. We dated for 9 of those years and were married for the remaining 9 years. I never realized the term "emotional abuse" ever existed. I was far too familiar with physical abuse as my step-father was abusive to my mother usually when he had been drinking. She continued to take him back, time after time. Sadly, but finally, HE had to be the one strong enough to be the one to leave
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Interests
I enjoy anything I can enjoy with my children including sports activities, date-night w/the kids. I also enjoy scrapbooking, but haven't seemed to have much time to invest in that lately. I spend alot of time with my dog "Girlfriend". She gets an A in animal therapy.
I enjoy anything I can enjoy with my children including sports activities, date-night w/the kids. I also
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Recent Activity
Today
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smmstevenson turned 36 12:00am
November 13
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smmstevenson commented on startinanew’s journal entry Journal Entry for November 13, 2009 8:32am
It's good to hear from you. I haven't been on DS so much lately, although I think I need to. I totally…
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Journal
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Pamper myself crazy
June 18, 2009 5:11pm
I think the first step in growth is realizing the weaknesses. You must begin my strengthening the weak areas before the entire you can become …
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Getting better????!!!!
March 2, 2009 5:08pm
I should really utilize this journal more often. I'm sure I could really let out my hurt, confusion, and frustation on here. As it …
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Another semester over
December 19, 2008 10:24pm
I concluded another semester today. With God's grace, I have 13 courses left to take which I plan to hopefully knock out in 4 more …
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Journal Entry for November 19, 2008
November 19, 2008 5:11pm
I usually try to endulge myself with a candlelit bath a few times per week. This week has been busy so it's been showers, showers, …
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Hugbook
I’m With You
u gotta still keep ur head up high & walk tall, u r made for greater things.. take care hun!!!
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I’m With You
Glad to see you are doing well...things with me are good too. Best decision I ever made was to leave..wish I had done it years ago. Proud of you girl!!
Hug
thanks for the hug..how are you?
Hug
Hey! Just checking up on you - hope you're okay. How's the pampering going? It's pedi for me tonight! x
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Hug
Thank you - your comment's helped! We all have our moments/hours/days! Thanks xx
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Photos
smmstevenson hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
I have been with my husband for 16 years, married for 8 of those years. He is extremely verbally abusive. Years ago before we married, he became physically abusive several times. He has come close to becoming physically abusive since we've been married, but I think he attempts to do it as a method of intimidation b/c once I dare him to go ahead and do it, he justs curse at me a little more and walks away. Verbal abuse is far less noticeable to others. He prefers this method to get control.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- After the first appointment, he made me cry saying alot of mean things and making me feel guilty for some of the things I said in counseling. We only went back 2 ro 3 times after that.
- Divorce Considering
- I took him to court to have him removed from the house. I did not retain an attorney. The judge ruled that since he was not physically abusing me, that I could not have him removed.
- Leave Working / Worked
- I won't leave without my kids(he's unable to financially support them by himself). I'm considering picking up a 2nd job to be away from him more.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- Talking Working / Worked
- I keep an online journal to vent to myself
