flyingfree's Journal

Letting go our old habitual ways of doing things, even though they are not functional, is not easy.

Yesterday I found a book called Overcoming Low Self Esteem, it helps.

It explains that my negative habits like irresponsability, procrastination, avoidance and my adictive personality are all parts of a framework set up to avoid facing my low self esteem, which gives rise to my self sabotaging behaviour and in the end in the end perpetuates it.

The irony is that as a child I let myself accept that I was worthless in order to survive. And that I could never change.

In reality worthlessness and low self esteem are not the same. Worthlessness is an external measure of intrisnic value whereas low self esteem is only a perception of the true value. I see now that I need to modify this perception to something more representative of my true worth.