Journal

My life feels like a roller coaster that I can't get off of. I have fallin into a deep depression that I can't get out of. My family is all screwed up and I get blamed for things. Tomorrow is my bday and I wanna forget. I wanna fall off the face of the earth. 

Tomorrow is suppose to be a time for family and friends and giving thanks. For me it is a time of anxiety. Each year I get so excited and then something happens. This year it is my sister causing drama. I try to make things good for everyone and always end up taking all the crap. I feel guilty for feeling angry and hurt at how I am treated. I guess this is because I try and keep everyone ok and forget my own feelings. Lots of secrets and lots of hurt feelings are going on right now. I try and put on a happy face for the kids but inside I want to escape from it all. I wish I could get on a plane and leave...go some place where no one knows me.

I am not having a good time lately. I have been bleeding non-stop for 2 months. This always happens when my thyroid level is all out of whack. I really do need to make an appt...just need to find the time. I also have really bad sweats...probably the worst part of having a bad thyroid. I really need to learn more about what my numbers mean. I guess for awhile I figured this would just disappear and I wouldn't have to worry with it all. I was wrong and now I need to get control. I hate being tired, having period issues, and the awful sweats. I thought with hypo you didn't sweat much but the doc said it can be either way. Yay me I got the extra sweats lol.