Journal

I will not bow to you

Servicing you with the slightest pleasure

of a thought, notion, tinge...

that I may qwiver before...

bowing to your curling lips as you inch closer

with acid dipped fingers

eagerly

waiting

to pry into

supple nerves

flesh and bone..

You will not shake me

bringing me to my knees

crying and scraping

for

hope

a

light...

I let you win once before..

I have your card

trumping your

King

with my

Queen...

Fear me..

Fear my persistance, hope, thought, brutal willingness and knowladge over you

to push forward

and

put much more

than just vinigar

into your wounds....

I understand your game and

I am giving it back.

You thought that playing with pain could win

being the master of your artful little game.....

Little did you know...

I refuse to play along this time.....

Poor little King thought he could win.....

Don't you know...

A Queen

is the TRUE

master.....

Time for you to bend...

my way...

I am the MASTER now

Mastering YOUR game....

*Witten on 3.3.09.  Written by: Monique/anchesenamunseyes :)

I was mis diagnosed my my original doctor....  Grrr!  The fat around the nerve passing thru the pelvis has been worn away, thus producing siatic like symptoms I have been having.  My L4/L5 disc does have a mild bulge, but in no way is pressing on the nerve, or do I nave nerve entrapment/compression.  I have been told to continue what I am doing exercise wize and midify when needed.  I do my stretches everyday and religiously.  I think 2 to 3 times daily!

I am going to beat this- I am strong, I am woman and I am doing this!

Whew!

Amazing.  I went to a spinal doctor/specialist who took one look at my MRI and said that all I had was a bulge in my L4/L5 disc and that my sciatic nerve was in no way being pressed on- at all. 

So, the original doctor who diagnosed me, was wrong.  Gotta love the medical world.   I almost cancelled the appointment and glad I did not.  What I do have is the nerve passing thru the pelvic region, has been worn away with little or no fat.  This is due to my low body fat and the fact I exercise so much.  I experience sciatica in my hips and going down the outer portion of my thigh- at times, to above my knee.  The specialist did not tell me to stop exercising, but to eat food with or at times; with a higher fat content.  I do eat very healthy.  I cut out a lot of fat and ovisialy, too much.  The doc. did say I would have times where it will hurt, but just to take it easy at those times.  So, I am following the doctors advice.  I am on Cymbalta for nerve pain and it really seems to have helped with the nerve pain and depression I have been experiencing.  I was also given tramadol to battle pain  too.  I only take it when I really need to!  So, I am very glad to have a diagnosis and refuse to give up!