OMG! where did that month go...This year is flying by...This time 19 yrs ago I moved into a hotel just down the road to me now...with my 2 week old baby girl...Who is very much not a baby now...
I was just remembering how I felt...All alone in the world...Just me & my baby...Sooo much has happened in that 19 yrs...& I can honestly say that it has been 80% heart ache...& 20% fantastic...The 20% is having my children...finding my true love...My soul mate...Marrying my soul mate...Finding spanking...Plus some other stuff thrown in lol...
The 80% crap was from other selfish ass hole jerks...Cos I/we allowed them to interfere with our lives...If I/we had lived our life as our selves it would have been 80% "Fantastic"...20% *uck off out of my life you scum bag...but we cant dwell on the past...Only learn from the past...
Hopefully my kids won't go through the same awful things...cos I have brought them up to "Not go there!"...They are amazing kids...totally unphased by most crap...& that is cos of how we are bringing them up...
My daughter Amy just said to me..."Mum can I read your diary?"..."Eeeek!" "Shit" "What diary does she mean???"...
"Phew!" she meant one of my old fashioned before computers & "Blogger" many note book diary's...I started writing diary's in the hotel with Jade...& carried on right the way through to Ryan being born...He is now 12...
Unfortunately all the heart ache & AWFUL crap stuff is writen in my diary's as well...I said to her..."No...There is a lot of horrible stuff about Grandad O in there"...
Hmmm!...I will not go there with the harm that man caused...
Then my daughter said..."You should write a book based on your diary's"...Ummm!...Where did that come from...
Yeah may be I should write my life story...
I started writing my life story here...but stopped just as it was going to start getting more difficult...
I'm not sure I want my children to know everything though...
I should be thinking happy positive thoughts...not dwelling on the past...
Gotta go...I need coffee....................................................................
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Well, if you're not happy, they're not gonna be happy with you being unhappy... and you're the main one they look up to. If you're miserable, it's gonna have a negative effect on them... they need to realize that... hopefully. YOU MATTER! God bless your sweet heart... I know it's hard to come to a decision when it feels like the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders. It's hard to know what to do, what's best... the Lord will help you thru it. You're in my prayers... hugs and love... Mona_K
AngelKaren