Journal Entry for June 29, 2009
whats with all the lies
can u see the tears that roll down from my eyes?
you did this to me
you made me believe
in you
but you turned back on your word
now …
okay so heres my story my first time ever telling anyone my whole entire story. as a young kid about the ages 4 to 11, i was molested by my grandfather. i told only my mom and sister, my mom doesnt remember anything about it and i dont know about my sister. things between my family and him are normal, no police report was filed. in 2nd grade my mother nearly died. we found out she had a brain anurism, i started gaining wait(unaware at the time) she was sick until the middle of 3rd grade. in 3rd or 4th grade my brother nearly died he had an apendacitis attack. if we had come an hour later he would not be alive. in 6th grade thru 7th we found out my dad needed a liver tranplant-it was failing the doctors didnt think he'd make it to the age of 50(he was 49) in 7th grade he got better but not completely, i tried cutting myself in 7th. before 8th grade started the doctors thought he had amilydosis they finally got the results back from the blood test and he doesnt have amilydosis. he still doesnt have a new liver and he still needs one. the doctors do not know what is wrong with him. i am currently going into 9th grade, my sister is going into 12th and my brother has been out of school for three years and quit college, possibly going back in next year. i slowly started losing weight last year but havent lost much. my sister tells me she hates me everyday for a few years now. i cut every now and then and constantly think about killing myself. i love helping people and giving advice. music and knowing ive helped people help keep me going. i am here if you EVER need ANY advice or anyone to talk to. this may sound like im bragging, but im not, i sound a lot older than what i am. maybe because of all the things that ive been through, so if ur thinking "shes to young to ask for help from" think again because i know alot more than many people expect.
okay so heres my story my first time ever telling anyone my whole entire story. as a young kid about the ages 4 to 11, i was molested by my grandfather. i told only my mom and sister, my mom doesnt remember anything about it and i dont know about my sister. things between my family and him are normal, no police report was filed. in 2nd grade my mother nearly died. we found out she had a brain anurism, i started gaining wait(unaware at the time) she was sick until the middle of 3rd grade. in 3rd or
music, singing, song writing, poetry, acting, animals, giving advice/helping people, romance-even though i dont have any lol
music, singing, song writing, poetry, acting, animals, giving advice/helping people, romance-even though
2 hugs given, 1 hug received
ineedyou137 gave kikibeautiful a hug 7:37pm
my week has been alright, i hope yours has been good too!…
ineedyou137 gave kikibeautiful a hug 9:19pm
hey, thanks for the add. i love your pic too!!…
ineedyou137 and kikibeautiful are now friends 9:09pm
ineedyou137 gave anskater a hug 12:04am
no prob! tlk to me anytime!…
ineedyou137 and anskater are now friends 6:52am
whats with all the lies
can u see the tears that roll down from my eyes?
you did this to me
you made me believe
in you
but you turned back on your word
now …
i hate it when i person tells me You know lifes not perfect.
i of all people know that with all the shit ive been through
i hate it when i person cant …
my ears are ringing
the voices inside my head
keep singing
as i lie there in bed
just wanna make it stop
take away the world
im 'bout ready to …
shes on the edge
on the ledge
afraid if she takes one step back
shell be sucked in again and trapped
if she takes a step forward
her life could be …
today i found my old enemy
this enemy lies inside of me
she scares me so
to the point where i dont know
whether or not i should let go
sometimes she …
thanks hope u are having a good week so far :)
can we be friends? i love the pic of your cat. so cute. :)
Please don't send me getting 2 know u
sounds good :)
hey thanks for the add.
ages 4 to 11, i was molested by my grandfather, my mom had a brain anurism, i started gaining wait unaware at the time. my brother nearly died from an apendacitis attack, if wed come an hour later he wouldnt be alive. my dad needed a liver tranplant. it was failing the docters didnt think hed makeit to 50(he was 49)then the docters thought he had amilydosis. he doesnt have a new liver and im currently in 9 grade. my sister tells me she hates me everyday. i constantly think about killing myself
well im a little overwieght so im trying to lose 20 pounds but ive found that little by little i am losing weight.
u can look at my profile for my main story, but this year, well 2008 actually, i started getting panic attack so im really new to it and it freaks me out b/c i dnt kno wat to do when they happen
basically u can look at my profile and understand i get really anxious to the point of panic attacks, i cry myself to sleep alot and none of my friends know how bad things get.
i stopped for prolly over 4 months but now im cutting again
dad used to be an alcholic and would yell at us grandfather molested me
i get lonely because i dont have like a true friend that i can tell everthing to.
i lost my uncle, and its not too big a deal because i didnt know him, but that makes it feel worse.