hospital poem
October 20, 2008 4:11pm
Perched in a leaning tree, in the midst of God's artI like to believe that we are all works of God's loveA love that fills the senses and …
allyinbama 
4:41pm, October 30, 2008
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About Me
allyinbama
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About Me
early-retired professor of linguistics, have bipolar 1 and bpd
early-retired professor of linguistics, have bipolar 1 and bpd
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Interests
psychology, history, all kinds of science, music (all kinds except country and opera), visual and other art....really too many interests to list
psychology, history, all kinds of science, music (all kinds except country and opera), visual and other
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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omg the bank
October 20, 2008 2:08pm
omg now i've really lost it. i finally got brave enough to try to tackle my bank account and for some reason i had less money than i …
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sense of self
October 19, 2008 2:15pm
right now i'm going through some stuff that has me thinking about the mind, because of the effects of ect on mine. i had 10 treatments i …
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Hugbook
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HUGS! not heard from you in a while hope you are ok. take care.
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keeping you in my thoughts. hope you are ok. take care. x
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Hope you are ok. not heard from you in a while. Take care. x
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Came by to check on you...
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At least give the ECT a chance, so many people stigmatize it from the movies and stuff that people just wont do it because they are ignorant. It really worked miracles for me and the memory loss is frustrating but alot better than how I was... Please if I can help you just ask...Kat
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
i have bipolar 1. for 20 years i was diagnosed with dysthymia, but at age 41 i started having "mystical experiences" which were very real to me and i guess nonsense to others lol. they went on for 10 days, and as i see it, i went psychotic from exhaustion; others would argue i was psychotic the whole time. police ended up calling an ambulance for me, and i ended up in the hospital. there's more but no room here lol.
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- did not work, just made me feel like i had the flu
- Ativan Working / Worked
- only had it in the "wrong" hospital
- Depakote Not Working
- that stuff was awful for me, all it did was give me gas lol
- Geodon Not Working
- not a good enough mood stabilizer
- Haldol Working / Worked
- had it only in the hospital at the beginning and i think it knocked me out lol
- Lamictal Not Working
- tried it, just felt awful
- Lithium Not Working
- made me feel intoxicated...took it for three weeks, and all of a sudden the sides of my face were all swelled and i looked like i had the mumps, which i took to be a scary allergic reaction
- Risperdal Not Working
- ugh
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- what i'm on now for an antipsychotic and mood stabilizer; am also on effexor, lexapro, xanax, new thyroid medicine and just home from stay in hosp after having electro-convulsive therapy
- Tegretol Not Working
- just felt bad with it
- Topamax Not Working
- none of the anti-seizure meds work on me
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- didn't help with mood or smoking lol
- Zyprexa Somewhat Helpful
- helped with psych. stuff but gave me a crazy and painful skin disorder for 5 years--took a while to realize it was the cause.
- Ritalin Working / Worked
- was prescribed this as a something that boosted the effects of the antidepressants and i believe it has helped my concentrationafter years of being to worked up to get anything done last year i was about to read about 100 books. im planning to talk to my doc monday about staying on it somehow maybe reducing something else.
- Electroconvulsive therapy Working / Worked
- helped with depression for sure and also...sparked my interest in the end at what things i could remember and couldnt. not sure i consider this matter settled yet lol.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Writing Working / Worked
- Prayer Working / Worked
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
Close Depression
have dealt mostly with depression since i was a kid (am 51 now), but at 41 was diagnosed with bipolar 1--though depression is what i have most frequent trouble with
Treatments
- Effexor Working / Worked
- Electroconvulsive therapy Working / Worked
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- has its shortcomings...
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- Writing Working / Worked
- Ritalin Working / Worked
- as a booster for the antidepressants
- Prayer Working / Worked
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
Open Sexual Abuse
when i was six i was molested by my 16-yr-old cousin...but later i realized something else i was loathe to admit--i could always smell my mother sexually and i'm still not sure exactly why. therapist says something bad happened...and also that my mother sexualized/oversexualized everything. but...he's obviously not comfortable getting into this much and i feel...weird about it all
Open Family Issues
my family is so messed up that i stay away from them as much as possible, except for one aunt on my father's side
Treatments
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)god did i freak out when i got called borderline--but i can see where it fits in to some extent. i guess i'm also histrionic to some.
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- worked to a point...
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Prayer Working / Worked
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
my mother was emotionally and physically abusive; my father was passive or drunk and shouting at whoever parked their car wrong.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- Leave Working / Worked
- Music Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- having trouble right now, not sure what to make of things....have stopped therapy for now, partly to have a chance to pay off a balance.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Writing Working / Worked
- Prayer Working / Worked
Open Amnesia
have just been through ECT treatments and hospitalization, which has affected my memory; have large blocks of my life blacked out, abuse, etc.
