Journal

Ladyweaver...
I saw one of those messages...you were having issues with porn and your addiction, because you were put through that as a child, correct?
Here is my e-mail address....I would really like to talk with you some time! We have alot in common. I too am doing porn on the computer...not hardcore, but nevertheless it is porn. I am also MPD, Incest, SRA, and the list goes on.
my e-mail:
fallenangelupward@comcast.net
Please write to me!
((hugs))
Meghan and Co.

I find that it is disrepectful and patranising for them to do that. I hope you get this sorted

I have a suggestion for you - a place with closed boards, the same issues, and lots of support. Please, check out http://dissociativeidentitydisorde... and ask for admission. Tell them you are not on any other Yuku boards and the other info they ask for. They are kind, supportive, and have areas for those who have SRA, addictions, etc. It's a good place. Wish I could be more active right now but I am having a tough time staying present enough to write there. Dawn

We are so sorry this happened to you. We hate the daily email updates and have opted out of them so we don't have to look at them. We hope you stay here. Your input is always aprreciated and you are valued.

It's incredible (literally not believable) that they would say they don't understand what you mean, i.e., what are Hot Topics? The post above also mentions "the daily email updates", so you know they aren't a figment of my imagination. I'm very glad now that I posted no photos. I was soon going to! Now I'll stick with the cartoon avatar lady! And be very careful what I post on the Net.

In this world we live in, no one is safe. Not children, not adults, not even a dog. I really have come to the conclusion that I just don't care. If they post a "Hot Topic" on what I have written, then I hope it will go on to help someone else deal with the same issues that I am dealing with and let them know that they are not alone. I can understand why you and the family might be highly upset by this, and I, if I were anyone else, would be upset as well. However, I am beyond the point of caring as long as it does have the possibility of helping someone out of the darkness of despair and onto the road to recovery. I am upset for you though! You should have been asked first.

I'm with the comment above me. You should have been asked first. But, and this is no reflection on you, websites have a tendency to believe that once your material in whatever form it is, is on their website it somehow becomes theirs. It's annoying. That's why I only put things up if I just don't care who knows about them. I don't broadcast that I am on DS but I don't hide it either. I operate under the assumption that once I post something to DS it's out in cyber space where anyone can get their hands on it. I guess I just stopped caring a long time ago. I know DS isn't as safe as many people think it is but, to me, that's not the point, the point for me is to find people who can relate to me, who I can support and be supported by. I don't really think there is a website out there that is 100% secure, sure, there are very likely more secure sites than DS but, there's always a risk in putting something on the net. All that said, I am sorry this happened to you. I would be very sorry to see you go, I have read some of your discussion post responses and you are so kind and supportive to others. But if you truly feel it is best then goodbye and I wish you well!

Wow! "you told me to trust you, yet you never gave me a reason to" How very true! I am also waiting for the walls I built to come "tumbling down". What a lovely image! You are using a big sledgehammer and keep slinging at that wall, that is the picture I get in my mind! I can envision you stepping out over the crumbled walls with a step of strength and power, and a look of pride and accomplishment and joy on your face.....
I love it!

Although my experiences were not nearly as traumatic as yours, between age 11 and 15 a pedophile made me believe he "loved" me. I saw it as romance and desirable attention. When I got old enough to realize it was selfish sickness on his part, my self-esteem really suffered. One episode on SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT dealt with a 12 year old boy who was molested and manipulated by an older woman. In the end, he sobbed I THOUGHT SHE LOVED ME.

This poem could fit many situations in many mistreated individual's lives, for it is true, how can one trust, if one is not given a reason to? Trust is a learned and earned attribute, and an almost impossible one to learn if one is not around those who are trustworthy enough to earn it.