Love times two
November 2, 2009 2:16pm
I have been so down. I know the weather, time change,and other things that go along with this time of year that even brings "normal" people …
Progress
80 %
crwtom
9:08pm, October 30, 2009
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About Me
crwtom
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About Me
I have five beautiful children. Nash, 12;Krista, 8;Grace, 4; and our little light in all this, Hope (born July, 8, 2009) are here to cherish on Earth.Our fourth my beautiful angel Faith was born still September 3, 2008. My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage at 12wks in may of '95. I have been married to a wonderful man, Kevin for 13 years. Nothing seems to matter anymore except family. "How long must I carry sorrow in my soul, grief in my heart day after day?" Psalm 13:2
I have five beautiful children. Nash, 12;Krista, 8;Grace, 4; and our little light in all this, Hope (born July, 8, 2009) are here to cherish on Earth.Our fourth my beautiful angel Faith was born still September 3, 2008. My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage at 12wks in may of '95. I have been married to a wonderful man, Kevin for 13 years. Nothing seems to matter anymore except family. "How long must I carry sorrow in my soul, grief in my heart day after day?" Psalm 13:2
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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18 hugs given, 13 journal comments, 7 hugs received, 5 photo comments, 1 photo upload
Yesterday
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crwtom gave zaksmommy a little love 9:36am
Nik, thank you so much. You give me too much credit. I reread the comments you guys give for a boost.…
Saturday
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crwtom commented on Mom2Jack’s journal entry YEA! 11:34am
Another week completed. I'm so happy to hear that your sugar is under control. Hang in there. God Bless…
Friday
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crwtom and Soccermommy19 are now friends 8:01pm
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crwtom and Tiffanykwells are now friends 4:56pm
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crwtom and christine15074 are now friends 1:04pm
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Journal
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Journal Entry for October 30, 2009
October 30, 2009 10:01pm
I'm just so sick of the pain. The feeling like my chest is caving in from the pain of not having you. I love you and want you so bad Faith. You …
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A sign from Faith
October 15, 2009 4:55pm
I'm in Awe right now. The last few days I've really been down missing Faith. This morning Grace was drawing a picture of a heart with angel …
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Sorrow looks back;Worry looks around;Faith looks up
October 9, 2009 6:14pm
Just a little update on Hope and my pychosis. Everytime I think that I am doing fine and enjoying Hope, I find worry and my mind spirals out of …
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13 months without you my sweet Faith
October 1, 2009 1:37pm
Hey my baby girl,
We all went to lunch, and as I was holding Hope I was watching a one year old baby boy sitting in his hi-chair across from us. …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hi C. Well, I am getting crazier by the day with worry. I am so exhausted as I get closer to the end. I was wondering if you would notice any tiny differences in your baby's movements and it would drive you up the wall? For example, some nights he is really hyper and up kicking all night, and then other nights he is pretty calm and mellow and every time I wake up to pee he is sleeping and I nudge him awake. SOme days he sleeps more than others. during the day, and other days he bops around constantly. I just feel like I am going insane with trying to figure out these patterns. I wonder if its normal. ALso, sometimes his kick counts cary anywhere form 2 minutes to 7 and I panic and wonder why its taking longer on any given day. Sometimes during kick counts he will be super active right before I go to do them, and then fall asleep and I have to poke my belly to get him to do his 10 kicks. I know these are all probably normal, and I will ask my OB, but were you this nutty about Hope's movements or am I really losing my mind and reading into everything too much? I need an honest opinion! UGH!!!!!
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I am feeling blah too, I just to love this time of year, but now I am dreading it. Thanks for the support. I need all I can get now!! ((HUGS))
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Hug
How are you doing? I hope all is well.
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Hi C.I love the happy face!! I can't wait until I get there... anyways, my NST test went well. Again, my little one decided to fall asleep, even though he had been bopping around right before the test. They zapped him again and he jumped. Poor thing. I hate that thing! Oh well. At least they are keeping a close eye on him which makes me feel a tad better. I am getting more and more obsessed with his movements lately. If he's a little more sleepy than usual I panic and poke my belly. This kid is really hyper, but man , when he sleeps, there is no waking him and it drives me nuts!!! This is definitely getting harder and harder the closer I get. I am so sleep deprived. I wake up about 5 times a night to check movements and I won't go back to sleep until he kicks. I keep telling myself just 6 more weeks, but that seems like a life time. DId it get worse and worse for you the closer you got with Hope?
Hug
Cynthia, Gianna has sent me a renewal of strength - in you! Had I read your goal update before I wrote my journal, I would have found my comfort there, shaken myself out of this funk, at least for now. Honor her life! See her smile in Lena's, and Jack's. Thank you, so much. Big, big hugs - Sher xoxo
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Photos
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Goals
View all completed Goals
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Support Groups
Close Stillbirth
I lost my sweet angel Faith at 35 weeks 3 days. She was born still September 3. She had a true knot. The pregnancy was perfect. I have three other children that miss her so. Nash,12, just wants to aggrevate another baby sister. Krista,8, would just love to hold her baby sister. Grace,4, wanted to teach her to dance. All of these plans destroyed by my baby's lifeline. Everyday is bittersweet without her here. I want to enjoy my living children, but I miss my sweet angel.We are due July with Hope
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- nothing better than a good cry
- Music Working / Worked
- I made a cd of songs that help me have time with myself and my lil angel as a tribute to her. If you haven't heard the song Smallest Wingless by Craig Cardiff check it out. We closed the curtains Held on to one another And cried We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye. [ Smallest Wingless Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
- Prayer Working / Worked
- My Faith will never be destroyed
- Talking Working / Worked
- Letting my husband know what I'm feeling has helped us both open up.
- Writing Working / Worked
Close Pregnancy After Loss/Infertility
I just found out I'm pregnant after losing my sweet Faith at 35 1/2 weeks on Sept 3rd,2008. It happened sooner than I thought. I'm hoping not to go crazy with fear.
Open Pregnancy
HI my name is Cynthia. I lost my baby girl Faith Sept 3rd at 35 1/2 weeks. I'm now 11 weeks and hoping for a baby to arrive in July.i have three children here with me.
