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Aronia 
12:52am, November 11, 2009
Today I woke up because my heart was jumping all over, apparently since last night. i feel much better today mentally for no apparent reason.
Last night i got home and I had this feeling like how I hated everything that was around me - the house esepecially, because it was all built with him in hopes of a good future. At work someone noticed that I was really down, almost in tears. my husband came to my job a few minutes before and brought me coffee. It was nice, but it made me so fucking sad again.
My co-worked weas talking to me and then he said " sounds like you had bad luck with men".
I thought about it and it's true - I had very bad luck. At this point I don't even know what good luck looks like.
A few of my close friends have long marriages. I've talked to them about what it's like in their families and it seems like there is a trade off for everything. It's like a perpetual scale that tips from one side to another.
Well, I can't continue, i have to go to work soon.
It's going to be a good night. There is a guy-nurse who makes me laugh. This is what I need now - to have fun and just live through the day.
Comments
Everyone is going trough something in a marriage, I do not believe in a happy ones.... Maybe for a while, but happiness does not last the test of time.....
Bestplayer
Marraiges are never what we see on the outside. I once told my counseling that in my daughter's preschool group all the women talk so highly of their h's. He said that's a fake and acting just like I do (well not those exact words). Yes, I definately thinks there's a trade. I Have an h who works and earns money for us (and he's not a couch potateo) however he's not emotionally with the family being the trade. Throw yourself into work, laugh a lot, and try to forget your problems. It was nice your h brought you coffee, say thank you if you can muster it. Hugs
mselliot