Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 …
Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 year old married to my high school sweetheart and have two beautiful little girls. I …
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TimColorado 
5:52pm, October 9, 2008
I sometimes feel like I have to force a smile on my face everyday just to keep those around me happy, while inside I am screaming in pain, agony, constantly, I cant sleep at night, even rolling over to try and get comfortable is brutal, and yet everytime someone looks at me I try and smile, if I show to much of how I truly feel then my wife and others around me get depressed, and then they get snipy, grumpy, if they "think" that things are ok for now, then they can smile and go on with their day, if you bring them down with your pain, it is almost as if they get upset at you, so I try to hide it while wearing a false face for them, inside I am screaming.
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Tim!!! I completely agree with you!!! You are definitely not alone in this one... In fact, I couldn't agree more! I've actually been told by my bf that I bring him down; we broke up over this once. Then he realized that this is what I have to deal with everyday whether he is with me or not and he decided I'm worth the struggle. Still, I kind of feel bad about it. I try to hide it as much as I can although I've been working on not hiding who I am. If people don't like it, they can scram!!! It's easier said than done, especially when it is family and 'friends'. I barely have any friends anymore bt the bright side is that the ones that I do have are stronger friendships than I've ever had. I completely understand what you are going through and feeling and I'm here for you!!!
Much love and understanding,
Lisa
LisaNeedsHelp