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ladybug913 
4:34am, October 29, 2009
Hello to all my dear friends on here. I am so glad that I found you all. Am sorry that I haven't been on here as often as I used to be, but that will soon change as my last night of work is tomorrow evening, and then I will be starting to pack. But I will be keeping up more with you all, and trying to better support you in all of our efforts to keep on keeping on.
Yesterday and today have not been good in the pain area. My lipase has to be fairly high as the pain is getting greater and is going into my back now. If it gets any worse, I know that I will be heading to the ER and they will probably put me in the hospital. I am trying to hang on, because I do want to work my last night at DG and say my goodbyes there. It has been fun, and I'm happy that I got to give it one last chance but now I know, for sure, my limitations. I can't lie to myself about this disease anymore. I don't like the part where I hang in limbo with nothing to do but feel the pain, and the doctors say, "well, we will just keep on doing what we are doing" -- which is really pain control with dilaudid. :-( I want to be fixed! Ya know? I don't like having this daily pain as I am sure the rest of you don't either. The doc says I'm not bad enough for any type of surgery right now, so.... I just keep on keeping on. (sigh)
God bless you all, and hang in there. I'm hanging in there right along with you, my friends. My prayers are with you.
