ladybug913's Journal

Wow!  The pain is there all the time now.  This is a switch from what I am used to.  This has been going on now, for almost a month, or maybe a little longer.  My memory is not what it used to be and I know that it's because of the pain meds that I take.  I did get my pain meds filled, thank God, before I ran out, and instead of picking up the thyroid meds that my doc prescribed, I am just doubling up on the ones that I have, because I still have quite a few at home, and it's what he prescribed anyway. So, everything is working out.  Having trouble staying asleep tho.  Don't know what that is all about.  I get up and down all night long.  And then I'm pretty tired during the day because of it.  Maybe I need to get on some sleeping meds like I used to take. I sure don't want to get back on trazadone again. Those things are horrible, especially when you are getting off of them. I used to take Ambien so maybe I could ask the doc to prescribe those for me again. I really had quite a bit of pain today at work.  I took 1/2 of a 4 mg. delaudid, and it didn't work very well, but I didn't want to take any more because I wouldn't be able to function there if I did, so I just hung it out until I got off of work, and then took another half, and that helped more.

I want to work more on being consistant in things.  I am very good at starting something, with good intentions, and then don't follow through, such as starting a journal, or starting a craft of some kind and then not finishing it, or starting to read a book and not finishing it.  Guess I'm a procrastinator, and I really want to change that.

A long time ago, when there were several things that I didn't like about myself, my counselor asked me if there was anyone in my life that I really looked up to.  There was.  So then she told me to write down all the things that I liked about that person, in detail.  Then I would take one trait, that I liked about that person, and I would try to instill that trait in my own life, until I had every trait that I liked about that person.  Of course, I am still a work in progress, like everyone should be.  Like the saying goes....."God's not finished with me, yet!"  That person in my life, that I really looked up to, was my mother.  She told me one time, that success is not how much money you have, or how many 'things' you have, but how many friends you have.  When she passed away, at her funeral, there was standing room only, and it was a fairly big church, plus the people were wall to wall, and standing in the hallway, all the way out into the drive, shoulder to shoulder.  She had no money, and not very many 'things', but she always had love to give to everyone she met.   She was the most successful person I ever met.