ANGELKITTEN's Journal

     This has been a challenging week/weekend. I've been helping clean the ex's house. Now there's a funeral to go to Monday.

     Don's ex left on Sunday morning the 18th of Oct. We went over to the house to see what she left and how much clean up we had a head of us. "Oh my word!"The house was trashed. She took the refrigerator and the stove.She left garbage everywhere and junk everywhere. She left some dishes and lots of food. She left lots of clothes and both bathrooms where full. All the closets where full. She left all of the kids' baby pictures.She left the entertainment center and the couch and love seat, 3 swimming pools, two complete beds that were broken, and a computer desk. And the list of stuff goes on. We got a 20 yard dumpter and it is full and we aren't done. The 2 car garage is full too. If you don't know you can't throw away anything electrical or paint, tires, and those kinds of things. Also two days of this week the weather hasn't been favorable which brought a stop to hauling things out of the house.

     Now our small 2 bedroom apartment was tight to begin with but we now have more here. We saved some things. Food items that we keepable. luggage. bathroom items. laundry soap that was brand new. And other items that we could use. We fixed the love seat and kept that we now have seating in our living room we didn't have.  We now have bathroom towels up the ying yang. Now I'll be able to throw away some of mine that were so thin and fraying. Our place looks like we just moved in again with all the boxes and bags of stuff. It takes a lot out of you to clean out a 4 bedroom house, but then to come home to have more work of putting things away or trying to find places to put things. UGH! No rest. Back is sore and mind is exhausted. But it has been SO TERRIBLY hard on Don when he saw what all she left and the condition of that house. The first day he was just sobbing as he went through things. He kept saying "I'm not doing well!" "I can't believe she left this." "Her own kids' things, Pictures and things the kids made for her." "She never wanted any of us all these years!" I felt so sad and wanted to be there for him. I tried to be therefor him, but when I was there to comfort him. He would just stop and get back to going through things. It was when I was in another room I could hear him just sobbing and talking to himself. He called her later the first day and said hey did you know you forgot your baby book and etc. She said "Anything I left wasn't important enough to take." But you can take to my Mothers my baby book. Then she called back and said Oh I forgot a watch and a necklace there and the swimming pool in the back yard... You can take that too my Mothers too. Well Don said that he had already tossed the swimming pools and wasn't going to fish them back out. This has been so stressful for him. He a few times has verbally taken it out on me. But even though I didn't like it and it hurt. I understood he didn't mean it. I was just the one that was there. He has apologized so much this week and also has put himself down for having not been good enough of a ________. I told him that is not true he has been a good husband, father, son, and etc. But this is just the situation that can make you feel like a failure. 

     I'm just trying to do everything I can not to get overwhelmed  and not take care of me when so much is going on with him. It is his Uncle that passed away at the age of 63. Monday we will be leaving at 3 am to drive 6 hours to get the funeral. We are hoping to be home by supper time. We still aren't done with cleaning out the garage. We need another dumpster. We have one more car load to take out of the house besides one trip of stuff to take to his daughters. 

     This week everytime I eat anything my stomach gets up set. I can hardly eat anything. I can't eat anything that is heavy such as bread. I've had to throw up a couple of times just to feel ok. Plus the Doctor has me taking meds for 10 days to do a voluntary  D & C. Then I have a Ultrasound scheduled to take a look at my Uterus to see why I've been having heavy bleeding and many days of heaving bleeding at my menstrual cycles for such a long time now. I may have to have my insides of my uterus cuterized. Well that is all I have for time now. I hope all is well and I'll be back asap. HUGS & LOVES & MOST IMPORTANT>>>>GOD BE WITH YOU !!!