jenalso's Journal

I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters but none of that seems real right now. I've been here before familar feelings yet now I understand that I would have to be very selfish to let any of this out. It would destroy everything I have. It will always be my struggle and a constant battle that will lay dormint sometimes. I guess my trigger is happiness I don't know how to except it. When things are going good that is when I feel the worst. I am very tired of it but I know it doesn't last more than a couple of weeks. I just don't see myself in the mirror. I see someone else. At least my meds control the visuals some what. I still don't think that I am me or that any of this is really going on. rant rant rant. just rambling on