I AM WORKING VERY HARD AT GETTING …
I AM WORKING VERY HARD AT GETTING THROUGH MY DIVORCE. I SCRATCH MY HEAD AT THE FACT THAT I ALLOWED SOMEONE TO TREAT ME …
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Seabee17 
11:35am, July 8, 2009
Hello all -
I have been gone a while. Been quite busy. I have had a hard time adjusting 2 incomes to 1 income and I've never really done the finances so I've kind of been kicked in the tail with all the bills.
So, at church I enrolled in Financial Peace University - a 13 week course by Dave Ramsey ( daveramsey.com ) that I really believe if I stick with, I'll get to having no debt one day.
I have also started going, at church, to Celebrate Recovery. Its a Christ centered help for life's habits and hang-ups. I've stopped abusing alcohol, decided not to sleep with anyone else until I'm married, started working on parts of my anger. I feel really good about it. Guys are all about scorecards and what we've accomplished and having the goals and seeing my progress has really given me hope lately.
My ex has been surprisingly nice in her emails. I think she's finally starting to realize my niceness is not just an attempt to get things out of her or get her back, that I'm genuinely being nice with no strings attached. She said she had actually thought about giving me one of the motorcycles back to be nice but never mentioned it.....we're sort of in negotiations about it. I don't know if she'll let me have them. I paid some on one of the bills in her name that had to do with my truck. My money situation greatly limits me from helping right now, but I told her I have no problem helping.
Overall at this point I'm pretty happy with life. The biggest thing I'm worried about is getting the money stuff in order. So, once I get that together, I think I'll feel great.
UPDATED GOALS
Be a happy person
Progress 50%
Encouragements: 0
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Wow. Good for you , man.
I need to get that kind of energy.
I keep having good days and bad. I hope to have more "good" in the future.
EastCoastAJ
Well, since my ex moved out right at the end of June, I've really had since then to realize that things really weren't going to work out and that even though neither one of us made that final decision, we were done. I finally said enough was enough in November so thats when the final blow up happened. 6 years should be taking me longer to get over her, but it didn't take that long. I'm over her in the sense of wanting to be with her, but I still care about her and love her as a person. That's all you have to do really I suppose. Finally separate wanting to be with her from loving her. You can love her and care and be willing to do things for her. Just don't let her run you over. I've had to tell my ex a few times she is not to use her nasty tones with me or there won't be any communication. Stand up for yourself. You're better than a door mat.
Seabee17
You are so right. I have made some changes in my attitude in the past few weeks.
I have stopped obsessing over what she is doing now. It's non of my concern. Instead I am trying to do things that make me happy.
I hate that she is dragging this out and not being helpful, but I refuse to let it bring me down.
I am staying busy and trying to keep a good attitude.
It seems to have worked for you, and it seems to be working for me too.
EastCoastAJ