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lisaj7768 
7:31am, May 5, 2009
So I'm doing the HOW program within Overeaters Anonymous. My food is very restricted. I can't eat sugar or flour or anything that contains either ingredient. I'm learning to read labels, which is good to do anyway. My sponsor gives me questions to answer every day and I have to write about them for at least 15 minutes a day! They have actually been very helpful in getting to the heart of my problem. Alot of self-discovery. I realized that when I'm around food, I'm insane. I act toally crazy by eating like I do. I have no discipline when it comes to food and eating. In other asp[ects of my life, I'm extremely disciplined, but not when it comes to food and eating. You know, it's not fair that I have to do this. That my life was so out of control that now I'm so overweight, that a Dr. has to tell me I have to lose weight or die. Complications from obesity. He said I was haeded for a heart attack! He said if I kept eating like I did, I'd be close to 300lbs by the end of the year! That is not going to happen! I can't imagine weighing 300lbs! But there was a time in my life, that I was pretty close, but , thank god, I never got that big. If I had weighed 300lbs, I wouldn't be able to get around at all. I'd probably end up like one of those morbidly obese people who couldn't get out of bed! Actually, once, many years ago, when I was very obese, I woke uup one morning and got out of bed and my legs were very wobbly. So I got back in bed and stayed there all day because everytime I went to get up my knees would buckle! I thought for sure, that was it, I was done walking! I'm stuck in bed! I called some of my friends who insisted I get out of bed and start moving, but I was so weak and my legs I think were trying to tell me something! They were telling me that I was so fat that they couldn't hold up my weight anymore. I managed to get out of bed the next day, thank god! But it was scary! Still, I managed to overeat and gain even more weighjt. And now look what all that eating has brought me to. Very restricted diet and an addictionto food!
