kherald's Journal

Well I have not been on here in ages and I have not wanted to write any of my feelings down I have been depressed all the time and put myself into a hole where I dug myself deeper and deeper.I have not been going to my support groups as often as I am suppose to....I have gambled off and on and I keep losing and going back for more.............I am in debt up to my eyeballs and I am living with my mother who has her own issues to..........I just want to scream most days and I know all of this is of my own making...................I just don't get the energy to kick myself in the ass and do anything about it so I am trying to begin here by venting my feeling and letting you know all I can do is cry and look down on myself and my meds aren't working so I am just hanging on ........ I know it is not all about the meds it is about the self help but I know I can find it in these rooms I hope to find my friends again.................I need support and people to talk to.................I have not been here so people probably thought I would never come back but I am back and I need support please help me guys................................I don't want to keep feeling this way.......I know I am a mess up most of the time but I know someone has been where I am at. So today I am venting and I am trying to change my ways because the pain is deep and I need to reach out........this is one of the ways I know how.................

Thanks for listening