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kherald 
9:55am, June 10, 2009
Well I am finally writing again..........I have been doing nothing good for myself and it took a good friend to open my eyes...........I have been trudging the road of my sobriety instead of living in the day....and enjoying each day as a blessing..........I have been gambling and not even tried to stop and it makes me sick but I kept doing it....well yesterday I put my foot down and told myself this sh.. has to stop............I had the worst nightmare last night about trying to fly above water and then I would fall in and there where sharks all around and then this strange guy would jump in and hold them off so I could get out......it really disturbed me.........I know all these weird dreams are from the turmoil I have going on in y headand in my life and it must stop........I am not happy and I should be I celebrated 3 years sober from drugs and alcohol on January 13th and that is an accomplishment.....I would love to say that about gambling so the buck has to srop here........I see the road my abuse of sunbstances took me and gambling is doing the same thing so what GOOD is it.........I know that I am rambling but I need to express myself this morning and clear my head before I start my day.....I have to go to program today and I feel depressed and anxious but I will use the day to work on it............I hate being depressed and feeling unhappy......all I wanna do is sleep and that is not good.....I need to get more active again////////////I know but a sock in it and just DO IT...........well I thank God for my friend for telling me the truth about me because noone else does and I need to hear these things so I can take a good look at myself............God put her in my life for a reason.......just like I was guided to places like this so I can express my feelings and know it is OK to be me...........
Well thanks my friends for listening and I hope evryone has a wonderful day........Today I am GF......ODAAT and just for today......
God Bless,
Kathy
Comments
set your priority, step by step, one day at a time. Nothing is easy and you are the only one can make it easier.
jcwang
Hi, I haven't been around for a while. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so hard to stop gambling. I know it's not easy. Isn't it weird how we can be so strong in some areas of our lives and so lost in others? I wish I could tell you how I've managed to get past a yr without placing a bet, but I'm not 100% sure! I know I'm fortunate that I don't seem to suffer with urges to gamble. Once I decided I was hurting myself more than anyone else, and it was up to me to change, I was so grateful for this new understanding. I know my recovery could all come screeching to a halt if I was to decide I was cured, or that one bet doesn't matter. For me it does. I'm a compulsive gambler. Kathy, one thing is for sure, I understand.
Hugs and love, Robin
Moyer
I am so happy you looked at yourself! I LOVE U TOO MUCH TO LOSE U!!! I had a wonderful time yesterday hanging out!! *giggles* eatting brownies & watching scary/gross movie lol I am always here for you! Keep focused on the positive! Stop living in the negitive! Keep writing your feelings and do the work! LOVE U talk to u later xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
ds13099
Kathy,
Glad you are back to feeling better about YOU - congrats & keep up the good work. Your friend is a true friend to you - that's wonderful; it's all about the truth & good friends DO tell us. :]
Hugs,
Smokeygirl
smokeygirl