technologizta's Journal

Ugh....I hate Mondays.  My friend, Brian, last night told me "Just remember!  While you're at work tomorrow............I'll be playing Everquest."  Butthead....  What I'd give just to be home right now, drowning my pain and sorrows in orc and goblin blood.  Lol.

I stayed up too late talking with him last night.  I've been in a mostly good mood all weekend, but now, I dunno.  Last night I was a wreck.  Depressed and crying, and poor Brian having to listen to me.  He's a good friend, but he can be a real butthead sometimes.  He just made a choice recently about his character in EQ2 I don't like.  It means he won't be able to play with me as much, and even though it feels selfish to want him to stay and play with me, he wasn't happy.  But with him gone, now I'm not happy....sigh.  I'm losing my friends there one by one.  And I'm afraid......afraid he's going to be next.

My love of the game makes little sense to most other people.  I've had my emotional highs and lows with that game.  At least there, I feel alive.  I'm not limited.  I can run, I can keep up with my friends.  I can still do things with them and I don't have to leave early because I'm in pain, more often than not.  FM does not limit me as much there like it does in real life.  I have good friends there who care about me.  I have enemies who hate my guts.  And I still feel.

 But I'm regretting now that I stayed up as long as I did.  And that I spent all night crying.  He told me we'd talk on msn today, but we haven't......and that scares the crap out of me.  The day is just beginning though, so I'm hoping when he does get back online, he will actually talk to me.