ashley1261's Journal

I should be happy right now bc just a few days ago I went back into therapy for my e.d. but I'm not. In fact, I am feeling even more depressed and alone than ever. I ended up sharing a lot of information that I normally wouldn't do and I think I am upset at myself for doing that. I admitted to my syrup of ipecac abuse and I think that was one of the hardest things out of the session that I had to do. I just hate myself so much right now and I don't know why. Its a good thing that I did that right?

Me and my roomate are both on weight watchers right now and I SO went over my points for today. I am only supposed to have 20 points a day and I have clearly went way BEYOND that. I don't even care right now. I am just snacking right now and I can go throw everything up and it will be okay. WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS?!?? It is so frusterating. 

I just wish I could be normal again.