randomness
I have a history exam tomorrow and i am freaking out to the extreme. I am so very extremly nervous that i have feel my …
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ashley1261 
8:25am, July 20, 2009
Message to: Ashley
From: Eating Disorder
Ashley,
You are a disgrace. You are a big, fat, ugly person who does not deserve to live. why don't you just KILL YOURSELF?????? You are so stupid- you never let yourself choose what YOU want. You always listen to me, and you always let me dictate how you feel about yourself.
You are a fat pig and you will NEVER get better. Don't ever believe that you will, because I will always be here to tell you that you can't. When you look in the mirror I am the one who tells you everything negative. I hate you and you know that I do. But you can't do anything about it.
I will always win and you will always lose. You should just give up. Give up, Ashley, give up because you know what? the longer you fight, the stronger I will push you further into your e.d.
You can never defeat me. You are powerless and nobody can help you.
You can try to get help, but it won't work. and you know it won't work bc it didn't work last time. You can fight me all you want, but in the end, I will come out a winner- and you, you will be lost in the dust and forgotten about. You no longer exist to me. I control your mind, thoughts, and actions.
The worst part is, is that you realize it. You realize it and yet you do absolutely nothing. Can you not fight back ashley?? Are you so weak that you cannot beat me??? I think so. I think you are giving up. You make me sick. I hope you live a life full of depression and that I stay here talking to you forever.
I hope you stay weak and never ask for help. I hope you continue to feel lonely. I hope you keep isolating yourself and grow further and further away from your family and friends. I hope you hold onto me forever. Chances are, if you haven't gotten rid of me by now, you never will.
You'll never say goodbye to me, Ashley. NEVER. You're stuck with me forever.
Get used to me being here 24/7 because I'm not going anywhere.
Always,
your omnipresent eating disorder
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That was so deep and touching. You have captured how we all feel about our eating disorder. You have put all of our feelings right there on your journal. I pray that you don't really believe that ed is that strong, because it's not.
Mia34
i wish people in my life could read this. a little peek into what life is like. its so hard to explain
troublegrl
You write beautifully. I so understand what it's like to deal with this. It hurts so much. I hope you do realize though that you can beat it. You really can.
=]
Hyperbola