tigerlilymel's Journal

I just hopped off the bathroom scale. 152lbs. Sigh. Just under four months ago I weighed in at 120ish pounds. Now between the Asacol, Prednisone and Imuran I can't catch a break. The water weight and fat gain has turned my once petite frame into that of a girl who is almost unrecognizeable. I miss my cheek bones, my single chin (not the double I have grown accustomed to seeing in pictures), my small arms. Obviously reaching remission and gaining good health means more to me than my outward appearance, but seeing as how remission is light years away and the man I so ardently adore is home in ten days...I can't help but mourn the loss of the Melissa I once looked like. Now my twin sister, who used to have the rounder frame, resembles the me I wish I could. Ugh.

And money. Oh yes....I got paid on the first and now I only have roughly 150ish dollars in my account to last until next month.  I'm just so amazingly beyond stressed. Everything is overwhelming. I know that stress feeds into my disease but I can't help it. Nothing is going right.