tigerlilymel's Journal

Things don't seem to change no matter what. I am good for a couple days, then life kicks me in the ass again. I think God just finds it funny to knock me down time and time again. Knowing these things are supposed to make me strong is just even MORE frustrating. All of these trials I am forced to deal with just aggravate me even more. I am one person! I can only take so much. And now, I am on a stupid liquid diet...at least until Monday. Every time I swallow ANYTHING it immediately sends searing, sharp, ripping pain to my stomach and spine where my disease has manifested itself. I can't eat anything--big bites or small--without doubling over in pain and wishing I would die on the spot.

So I called my doc and they didn't say much of anything. They told me to take Mylanta a half hour before meals and at bedtime. Then they told me to take Prilosec two times a day. Seriously. Then she said that I am to be on a liquid diet only until Monday. This means nothing I can chew--so NO Jello or pudding or anything. Just pureed food. My mom pureed me some chicken, green beans, and chicken broth. Ugh. It didn't taste TOO bad, but it wasn't filling in the slightest. All of this on the day mom brings home pizza, pasta and food I am DYING to eat.

I am so grateful that my problems are so small compared to what other people have to deal with. And I know listening to me bitch and moan isn't any fun. But please try to understand what I am going through. I went two years with a diagnosis and no symptoms..and now it's like my body is making up for lost time. All the pills, the side effects, the disease symptoms. I can't deal. I don't know how anybody can deal with it. I just hate it. Oh well. I guess maybe on Monday I can have a damn sandwich.