The last four months
June 19, 2009 3:14pm
This is a complicated problem for me. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety: GAD, PTSD and depression in 1992 by a psychiatrist. My …
LadyLuna
7:10am, November 9, 2009
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About Me
LadyLuna
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About Me
I am on Social Security Disabilty (for depression and anxiety disorders) with a low paying part time job. I am looking for a better job currently. I relocated about a year ago from another state to live with my boyfriend in New York. I thought I would be happy, but I'm not. I am lonely because of the of personal demons I cannot share with anyone I know for fear of rejection and eviction. I am so scared.
I am on Social Security Disabilty (for depression and anxiety disorders) with a low paying part time job. I am looking for a better job currently. I relocated about a year ago from another state to live with my boyfriend in New York. I thought I would be happy, but I'm not. I am lonely because of the of personal demons I cannot share with anyone I know for fear of rejection and eviction. I am so scared.
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Interests
I am very passionate about animals and reptiles of all kinds--I love them all. I am an advocate of saving the sharks in our oceans. I also enjoy writing, art, drawing, painting, talking with close friends, traveling to see new places.
I am very passionate about animals and reptiles of all kinds--I love them all. I am an advocate of saving
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Recent Activity
November 9
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LadyLuna updated their status 7:10am
4 months sober. Physical ailments. Back on Xanax. Been through a lot.…
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LadyLuna updated their status 7:10am
4 months sober. Physical ailments. Back on Xanax. Been through a lot.…
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LadyLuna updated their status 7:09am
4 months sober. Physical ailments. Back on Xanax. Been through a lot.…
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LadyLuna updated their status 7:09am
4 months sober. Physical ailments. Back on Xanax. Been through a lot.…
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LadyLuna updated their status 7:09am
4 months sober. Physical ailments. Back on Xanax. Been through a lot.…
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Journal
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This entry is private
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Goal Update
March 12, 2009 5:50pm
I plan to not pick up that first drink. If I'm having a bad day, I will call someone rather than to reach for a drink. Now that my …
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Shocking Admission :) I LOVE SNAKES
March 12, 2009 1:59pm
I'm feeling so much better since I am 18 days sober and have been detoxed from Xanax.
I'm kind of bored now, waiting for my creative …
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Relapsed on Valentine's Day
February 16, 2009 5:15pm
When my withdrawal symptoms get too bad, the extreme paranonia, depression, intense fear of everything, crazy worries that keep playing in my …
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Hugbook
Hug
Just wanted to say hi and well done ! I got to go but hope to c u again ok, M x
Hug
Good morning hope you have a great weekend!
Hug
So great to hear from you, girl! Thanks for checking in. I'm so glad to hear the you are still alcohol FREE!!! I am so proud of you, lady! Please, please, please check in once in a while - if for no other reason than to let me know you're still kicking! lol I know I'm not the only one who cares about you here. We all do!
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Miss You
Miss hearing how you're doing. sigh.
Hug
hope u feel better
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Alcoholism
I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. About 3 years ago when medication alone wasn't enough to help me, I began to drink Vodka to cope, escape and help me sleep. I drink even though I really can't even afford much else. I haven't been caught drinking recently because I have become very good at sneaking around to buy alcohol. I feel very guilty for all of the people I am deceiving too. I have become almost a "professional," functioning drinker because no one can tell when I'm drunk.
Treatments
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- No. I wasn't very religious, so the concept of a higher power was lost on me. Besides, people would find out if I openly went to regular meetings and admitted I had a problem
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Partially worked: I am on Xanax, as well, and when I can't have a drink, I take one, but it isn't enough to help me sleep or take off the extreme edge and depression.
- Cold Turkey Working / Worked
- No, got ill and shook.
- Detox Working / Worked
- Twice. No. Temporarily, but the inability to sleep normally for months afterwards and my extreme anxiety brought me back to my old friend.
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- No. Allergic to anti depressants.
- Willpower Working / Worked
- No. I have gone short periods of promising myself not to drink, but then something stressful will happen that is too much for me to handle. I do like the feeling of escape alcohol brings.
Close Anxiety
I have suffered from severe anxiety all of my life. When my marriage broke up in 1991, I couldn't sleep or function. That's when I started seeing a pyschiatrist, who prescribed Xanax and a sleeping pill. I still struggle horribly with my anxiety. The past few years, I also started to drink heavily to help allievate my constant fearful thoughts and nightmares.
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Somewhat worked.
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
- No.
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- For a while it worked when my anxiety was less at a younger age.
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- No, I still had severe anxiety.
- Meditation Working / Worked
- No, can't consenstrate that long. Too many racing thoughts
- Paxil Working / Worked
- Allergic to it.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- No. I tried this approach, which seems like a good one, but the demons in my brain override any attempt at positive thoughts.
- Remeron Working / Worked
- Allergic to it.
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- No. Allergic to it. Horrible side effects of dizziness and increased anxiety. Inability to think clearly.
- Valium Working / Worked
- Xanax Working / Worked
- Somewhat works. It helps to function minimally as long as nothing too stressful happens.
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have suffered with severe depression since 1991. I drink alcohol, take sleeping pills to sleep and Xanax for my anxiety.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- No. It sounded good in theory, but my depression overrides my efforts at positive thinking.
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- No. Allergic to anti depressants
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- No. Allergic reaction
- Meditation Working / Worked
- No. Can't consentrate for long enough
- Paxil Working / Worked
- No. Allergic reaction
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- No. I tried it, but failed.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- No. Extreme allergic reaction and horrible side effects
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Still going. It helps.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- At times it helped, but I don't have many support systems in my life.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Somewhat helped.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
Open Eating Disorders
Type: AnorexiaI became anorexic in 1988, when I started out just to lose about 20 LBS. My lowest weight was 86 LBS at 5'5". When I couldn't stand the feelings of starvation anymore I entered my bulimia period. I had these alternating disorders, until alcohol got into the picture. Then I gained weight because I didn't seem to care about my weight anymore. I have traded one obssession for another. But I still vomit up my food if I feel I have eaten too much. I would still like to lose some weight.
Open Loneliness
I am drowning in a lifetime of lonliness and regret with alcohol and prescription medication.
Treatments
- Xanax Somewhat Helpful
- It helps only for a short time. But my mind never shuts off to all of my failures and regrets including ruined relationships with my elderly parents
Open Pet Bereavement
I am still mourning my dog, Desert, who was poisoned by the neighbor's kid in 2002. I also lost my other dog, Chile, from liver failure in 2002.
Open Insomnia
I have suffered from a lifetime of insomnia. My mother first brought to the doctor for valium at age 16 because I couldn't sleep. I'm 52 now. For the majority of my life, I have always needed something to sleep. I was on Xanax and Ambien, but started mixing alcohol with them, when I still couldn't sleep well. My pyschiatrist recently found out about my drinking and took me off both the Xanax and Ambien. She gave me Trazadone instead. I'm allegic to anti depressants.
Treatments
- Ambien Working / Worked
- Didn't sleep through the night. I kept waking up. I had lots of nightmares with this.
- Halcion Working / Worked
- I had this along time ago. As I recall, it worked pretty well.
- Lunesta Working / Worked
- Didn't make me sleep at all.
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Didn't work
- Reading Working / Worked
- Didn't work
- Restoril Working / Worked
- Worked pretty well, at first, but I had keep uping the dosage to get to sleep.
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- This is worst thing ever. I was recently prescribed this when my doctor took me off of ambien. Only did I not sleep on trazadone, but I had the worst side effects imaginable. I thought I was having heart attack. I walked into things and felt so drugged up all day, I couldn't function. I stopped taking it.
- Melatonin Working / Worked
- It worked with the ambien in combination but not alone.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- I have been on this since 1992 for anxiety. The doctor took me off of it very recently. I had to detox to withdraw from it. It worked pretty well for a long time but not recently. I also had nightmares on this.
