Today
November 19, 2009 10:32pm
Today I was on the phone with my mom.
She told me, unsolicited, that she was sorry for screwing me up.
And she cried about the mistakes …
InkyBlot
2:43am Thursday
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About Me
InkyBlot
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About Me
I'm just trying to put myself back together piece by piece. I've been through things I wouldn't wish on anyone, and I know people out there have similar stories. Sometimes I feel better, sometimes I feel worse. Sometimes I feel nothing at all, sometimes I feel everything at once. I suppose I'm normal, but I'm unique. I'm hurting, I'm happy, I'm me. Being on DS makes me feel less alone.
I'm just trying to put myself back together piece by piece. I've been through things I wouldn't wish on anyone, and I know people out there have similar stories. Sometimes I feel better, sometimes I feel worse. Sometimes I feel nothing at all, sometimes I feel everything at once. I suppose I'm normal, but I'm unique. I'm hurting, I'm happy, I'm me. Being on DS makes me feel less alone.
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Interests
Music - all kinds; art - admiring and creating; literature - I love a good read and I love thought provoking works. Spending time with close friends. Thinking. Writing. Reading.
Music - all kinds; art - admiring and creating; literature - I love a good read and I love thought provoking
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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1 hug received, 1 journal comment, 1 journal post
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Journal
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The hardest thing lately...
November 13, 2009 4:00am
So I've had this wonderful amazing boyfriend for the last 8 months now, and tonight I broke up with him. We're still going to be friends, but …
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Spinning
November 5, 2009 1:22am
So I had surgery last Tuesday, which means it's been a week now. It was supposed to have a real quick recovery time - laparoscopic cystectomy - …
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Hugbook
Celebration
Somebody important to us admitting we have been wronged goes a long way.
Hug
sorry to hear about you and bf.
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Hug
please get to feeling better
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Hug
Forgive yourself. You've done as well as anyone under the pain of what happened.
Hug
I have to say the advice you gave me had to have been one of the most helpfull things I have gotten on hear. About the if you go 2 years and slip than next time you should go two and a half. That was realy helpfull and puts a positive twist in my mind. Thank you :)
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Photos
InkyBlot hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- helpful for learing a few new coping mechanisms, not for much else.
- Red Marker Not Working
- I traced all of the creases on my hand... and in the end I decided that it just looked kinda freaky and almost triggering seeing all that red there but not feeling any of the pain from it... ::sigh::
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- seems to work rather well out of the coping mechanisms I've tried, but I will say that you have to be careful about if people see you doing it. I think they find it bothersome...
- Tattoos Too Soon to Tell
- I have one, and getting it was a rush, it's rather pretty and I love it. I'm planning another 2 eventually one really large up the side of my torso and one small one on my hip. They say though that you should wait 2 years before tattooing over scar tissue, so that's what I'm working for. I want one over the place where I can see my scars.
Close Rape
It's been a while since it happened, but I still haven't been able to really talk about it. I think that my problem is that I think I can forgive him what he did, but I can't seem to forgive myself. I know that I should know that it wasn't my fault, but I don't really think that I feel like that... I know it but I at the same time I don't, if that makes any sense at all.
Treatments
- Rape Counseling Considering
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I've only been able to open up about the details to 2 people... neither of them know the whole story. I felt a little better after, but I wish I could just get it all out. I want to be able to let it go.
Open Sexual Abuse
InkyBlot hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
