Journal Entry for September 9, 2008
September 9, 2008 6:57am
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Goal End Date is Jun 26, 09 136 days ago.
ellenroses 
1:33am, September 10, 2008
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About Me
ellenroses
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About Me
I am a mum 2 4 adorable children. I have just started a Pre-access course in college i am hoping by the end of the course i can help people that R suffering with mental problems, as i feel if U have been through it U understand it more. I have had depression on and off 4 12yrs so by going to college i am hopin i can beat this and not let it beat me!
I am a mum 2 4 adorable children. I have just started a Pre-access course in college i am hoping by the end of the course i can help people that R suffering with mental problems, as i feel if U have been through it U understand it more. I have had depression on and off 4 12yrs so by going to college i am hopin i can beat this and not let it beat me!
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I’m With You
thank you honey:) great idea to go to college. hope it really helps:) i'm here for you. hang in there, stay positive and try to keep smiling x
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have suffered with depression on and off for 12yrs. Had the panic attacks, cut myself off from the outside world. I just wanted to be left alone in my own little world. Untill recently i thought i have had enough of the depression controlling my life so i enrolled in a pre-access course in college and thought i am going to try and take control of the depression. I was a little scared and very nervous to start with but i am on day 4 at college and so far i am loving it. I really have 2 do this
Treatments
- Celexa Somewhat Helpful
- Made me sleep day and night. But then i did need these to help me sleep at night.
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- All prozac made me do mostly is it STOPPED me from crying cos that was all i seemed to be doing. Then after a few months i started realising that there was more to life. You really have to keep taking the medication as when you are on it you do feel that you dont need it and that was where i was always going wrong as i never stuck with it.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I had to see more than one councilour. The first one i seen was brilliant but it was me, i hated having to talk about things as it would make me remember things that i wasnt ready to speak about. The second councilour i felt didnt understand me and it just didnt work out so i thought i have to try and do this myself. I feel you have to be ready in yourself to see a councilour as they really do go in to deep depth of it all, which is what someone with depression really needs!
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- I always needed someone to talk to any time of day and nite and i had that help from family mostly and a few friends. I always thought i was annoying them with my problems but true friends and a loving family is what you really need! It does help to talk and get your feelings out in the open!
Close Depression Supporters
I have suffered with depression for 12yrs. I have 4 children been in violent relationships, other things as well has happened BUT i am no longer going to let Depression taking control of my life i am now finally going to fight this and i am going to hopefully take control of my own life. I have just enrolled on a college course as i am hoping to help people with mental probelms.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- All i done was cry it would make me feel so tired out but in some sort of way it does help even though i would get to the stage that i hated crying ALL the time. But its best to let it all out and not let it bottle up inside you
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- Everbody knows that listening to music can make you feel differant about yourself. Listening to dance music anything with a beat made me feel very smiley
- Patience Working / Worked
- Need alot of this! espeically with 4 children.
- Talking Working / Worked
- I would say talking is the one thing that mostly helps. BUT you must be ready to talk, from my experience this has helped me and still is.
Open Breakups & Divorce
My mum and dad divorced whe i was 6yrs old i am now 33 with 4 children of my own. I have only seen my dad about 4 times since he left us. I still to this day get very upset over it and it only feels as if it was yesterday that my dad up and left, well not just like that anyway. I miss him and i feel i missed out on a father daughter relationship. I sometimes think was it me did i do something.
Treatments
- Forgiveness Too Soon to Tell
- I have found my dad we have spoken a few times on phone not many as i never know what to say as he seems to talk about himself and his wife and son alot. We have also sent a few emails out to each other. I want to forgive and i really need to tell him how he has made me feel but only time will tell
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- I got away as soon as i was old enough in some way i blamed my mum but deep down knew it wasnt my mums fault but i soon moved back where i came from Unsure if this is the right choice at the moment
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I put music on and on some musics i would think I wounder if my dad likes this or it reminds me of my dad when i was a little girl
- Pets Working / Worked
- Having pets really does work i have 2 german shepherds they follow me around house everywhere i go i gets lots of cuddles and love from them both!
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- My mum has told me what i need to know i dopnt blame my mum at all i blame my dad for he should of been more involved in my life
- Talking Working / Worked
- This really helps but i hate it when people put my dad down as he is still my dad in my eyes!
- Time Too Soon to Tell
- I am waiting on this to happen! So far i dont thin it is
Open Anxiety
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
- I have found learnign to breath when having an anxiety attack really works for me i can have an attack and i can now with a little help try to control it without people knowing i am having one so i am one step closer. My docotr told me how to breath when i have an attack!
- Breathwork Working / Worked
- I have found learnign to breath when having an anxiety attack really works for me i can have an attack and i can now with a little help try to control it without people knowing i am having one so i am one step closer
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- When i feel an attack coming on i start to talk to myself in my head telling myself to calm down and focus. I would repeat my name saying come on you can do it
- Valium Somewhat Helpful
- Helped me feel numb!
Open Diabetes Type 1
My daughter found out she was an insulin dependant diabetic from the age of 7 she is nearly 16 now. She has coped really well! She used to have down days from having to be differant to everyone else in her school but i kept telling her she was special and in my eyes she really is a special girl
Treatments
- Insulin (Regular and NPH) Working / Worked
- My daughter has had insulin since she has found out she is a diabetic! SHe is very healthy and very well
Open Shyness
I have had depression for 12yrs but i have always been shy i cant give eye contact i get distracted. But i am hoping by me going to college i can overcome this!
Treatments
- Self-help Working / Worked
- Just fight it!
- Socializing Working / Worked
- getting out and about with mates this is really a good one to do!
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Friends
