Back in May found out I had pre-cancer …
Back in May found out I had pre-cancer cells of the cervix. Had a leep done and biopsy said it was borderline... In …
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Raezr 
12:45pm, February 21, 2009
Just thinking lately of what it would have been like or would be like if I had known about my depression at an earlier age and gotten treatment for it. Who would I have become or be? without the frequent feeling of errational moods and fears acompanying my thoughts.How will I feel and handle new understandings and feelings when they feel so different to me? HOw do I become someone new when deppression is all I've ever known? Do's anyone else ever think of this?
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Hey, girl ... I know, back then, even migraine headaches was unknown, let unknown depression. I did alot of thinking back, and we were so reared on how we supposed to be - that 'how was it easy for us to question?' Either, I was shy; uninvolved; nightmares; etc. Signs were there, but back then it was brushed off as something else. ..... and remember, as we got in our teens+ .... more of the mental patients were at Waimanu Home or Kaneohe and having 'mental or emotional', problems - it was as if, they were segregated, TABOO!
Perhaps, if ' Depression ' was more open and free to talk about as now, we would have had a healthier start. Fact remains, we didn't - some past we wish didn't happen, others were a blessing.
My friend, Depression will always be part of us. As we transition and develope, so can our depression. To truly understand & acknowledge who we are and our disabilities, we learn how they bond & behave with one another. Only you will know your limits and boundaries, to keep the safe levels of your depression as you take more steps to your wants.
Yes I want to do the possibilities, but I will listen to the needs of my well being in order to take control. There will always be those negatives in our depression, counteract thinking or surrounding with positives. Whatever works for you.
By all means, Do not let 'Depression' lock you in, It is a disability, yes, as is any disability, but that can be controlled. We are in are 50's, my friend, we gotta' kick' it back in da' butt' - haha, as long as can still kick. Malama Pono
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