Journal

I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY AEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feeling somewhat suicidal again..i was great for so long then a ghost from my past appeared and now it's toying with me and i want nothing more then to end it..i would rather endure physical pain rather then emotional..every moment i take a breath i hate my life more and more..i met the love of my life..he makes me so happy but now because of this ghost i dont even want to love anymore..i dont want to live, love, eat, sleep, drink, cry...i just want to feel pain..i want to dull this emotional pull on me..i want to forget i want to live in a world where i am only alone...because my life as i know it is my own world of complete and utter isolation and solitude..someone please end my pain..someone please end this hurt...someone please......end my life

This blog is dedicated in the honnour and memorie of the 1st openly gay man who was brutally murdered in the San Fran city hall for something he believed in..Who touched the lives of millions all over the country..A man of warmth, love, and equality..

To Harvey Milk:

I only wish I was around in the 70's just so I could meet you and be apart of this amazing rightious movement that you started..I adore and respect you and everything you stood for. You taught me how to fight for something I believe in and how sometimes the things you love the most and have to most passion for are indeed worth dying for..Being the daughter of an openly gay man I want to say that your words are filled with wisdom and that I too battle for the rights of my father, my friends and any other person out there who is to afraid to come out and be their true self..Thank you Harvey Milk..You are my hero..

Back in the 1970's when gay rights was heated topic that was constantly up for debate there was 1 man who infact struggled with the acceptence of who he was..His name was Harvey Bernard Milk..Born on May 22, 1930 in Woodmere, New York, a town on Long Island..Harvey Milk came to San Fransisco to escape the judgement and terror he held  for being a gay man..With his partner Scott they moved to the wonderful Castro street..Once known as a small Irish catholic area Harvey Milk opened up a camera shop which was open to all homosexuals of any race and gender..Harvey Milk started to take names of shops who would serve gays and tooks names of shops who didnt "the police hated us, and we hated them right back" Milk stated..Finally after having enough of their anti gay protest a fellow gay man asked Harvey to help boycott Coors beer because of their "discrimination against gays" Before the owners of the Coors beer company would hire anyone they would have a lie detector survey and would ask "are you a homosexual?" Milk decided that this was the 1st step towrds a change..Milk decided to hire gay truck drivers and ran coors beer out of 100 bars on the Castro strip..By '72 Milk decided it was time to run for office..After failing misserably 3 times the determined 42 yr old Milk said "I will not quit until change has taken place!!!" After fighting fiercly for the right cause and protest after protest Harvey Milk FINALLY made it into office..Harvey Milk age 46 was the 1st openly gay man working in the city of San Fransisco's office..Harvey Milk fought for one thing that is still fought for to this day.."My name is Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you!!!" he would say on the steps of the new city hall to his followers..It was time for a change..

Back in the 1970's gay rights was a very racey thing to talk about..If you were gay you were hated by the police discriminated by others and sometimes beatin half to death or even killed walking home from the park..Milk had had enough of this cruel torture..When he decided to run for office he claimed that he would not stop and work tirelessly until gays lesbians and bisexuals were treated equally as any other "normal" person would be..

In 1978 Harvey Milk was starting to meet his match against Dan White, a conservative city supervisor who was soley against EVERYTHING Mr.Milk Stood for..But with Mayor Moscone by Milk's side he had all the power and protection needed to help make what was once a dream of Milk and many other gays into a reality..

On November 27, 1978, Milk and Mayor Moscone were shot to death in City Hall by Dan White, who by that time had quit the Board to protest the passage of the city's gay rights ordinance. White climbed through a window at City Hall and killed both men with a pistol. White's defense was his "diminished capacity" from depression, exacerbated by sugary junk food what became known as the "Twinkie defense" (after a popular snack food). White was convicted and sentenced to seven years in jail, under the charge of voluntary manslaughter... The verdict, which appeared to signal that society condoned violence against gays, outraged homosexuals and their supporters across the United States. In San Francisco, riots erupted, resulting in hundreds of injuries, a dozen burned police cars, and about $250,000 in property damage. The following night, over 30,000 people flocked to Castro Street to celebrate what would have been Milk's 49th birthday.

Milk was cremated, and his remains were buried at sea in a box wrapped with the Sunday comics, including Doonesbury (by Gary Trudeau) and Peanuts (by Charles Schultz)

Dan White was released from prison in 1984 and returned to San Fransisco and in 1985 committed suicide..

Harvey Milk said in a tape recording he made of himself that "If there is an assaination then let that bullit pierce my heart..If a bullit shall enter my brain then let it tear through all the closed and locked hidden doors so that all of those who are scared to come out can be free!!"

I went and saw the movie "Milk" directed by Gus Van Sant (starring Sean Penn as Milk and Josh Brolin as White) and I have to say..This movie was so accurait and right on the money with all the information and history about milk and his life..Harvey Milk was a sweet compassionate man who believed in love and equality for all of the people whether they were gay straight lesbian or bi...I remeber when the movie was coming to an end and and you saw Milk getting shot by White..I couldn't help but let tears roll down my cheeks as my heart started to swell with sorrow and a sense of loss..When I attended the "No on Prop 8 rally" held on november 15 08 which was exactly like the "No on Prop 6 rally" that Milk was fighting back in '78 I stood there with my father and our friends and others who were gay or lesbian or bi or who were straight and supporting equal rights I heard someone get up to the podium and say "And if a bullit shall enter my brain then let it tear all through all the closed closet doors hiding those who havent come out yet!!! These are the words of Harvey Milk who was a man of Equality and love and by god let them shoot me down for I will not give up on what is RIGHT!!!! and damn you Dan White who came to this building and shot down our HERO!!!!" I started to cheer so loud and chant along with the crowd..

It was almost like Harvey was with us all that day..I'll never stop protesting  for gay rights..All men and women were created equal..And by god I will say it again and again until the day I die but Harvey Milk helped and touched the lives of millions of people..He is my hero and will always be my hero..I'm never going to stop say "NO ON PROP 8" and I will never stop saying "GAY IS WAY LOVE THEM LIKE YOU LOVE YOURSELF!!!" and by god I will march on the Castro and up to city hall and if I have to I will say "MY NAME IS GRACIE DE ZAGO AND I'M HERE TO RECRUIT YOU!!!!!!" I will march and chant and protest all in the name and in the memorie of one man who fought..I will fight for gay rights and equality in the name of Harvey Bernard Milk...."My name is Gracie De Zago and if a bullit shall enter my brain then let it tear through all the closed closet doors where those who are hiding shall be set free!!!"

R.I.P Harvey Bernard Milk...Your legacy shall FOREVER live on