I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!
September 28, 2009 9:12pm
I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY AEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE MAKES ME SO …
Progress
50 %
Haidey21Hollow
9:01pm, September 28, 2009
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About Me
Haidey21Hollow
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About Me
Hi..im Gracie..Im 15, my parents are now divorced for about 6 or 7 years they seperated when i was 3 and got back together for 6 yrs then at the age of 9 they were over for good, when i turened 10 my father took off and moved to CA where im now living with him..i've been through alot with my life, whether it was moving, fighting, drugs, and alcohol..my life isnt pretty..im very emotional..i always get the feeling that im never going to be happy..its hard each day for me to get up and face the world for what it truely is..im a survived victim of suicide, i tried to commit suicide a fair few times and almost succeeded, im a depressed poet, and writer..if i can only see myself for what my family and friends see me for...maybe things will get better as i get older but who knows? life is funny the way it just throws things at you..what hurts the most is im only 15, but i feel like im 25...people tell me im way to mature for my age but with the life i had i had to grow up fast..im trying so hard to make it by each day..and i know with some time alittle help and alot of love and support..i might be..happy..at the age of 14 i started drinking as a "pain killer" when i grew to tolerant of it i switched to drugs maryjane mainly but thats not the point..when i was 12 i use to self mutilate myself as a pain number but it only made it worse and left "badges of honor" on me..at the age of 9 i knew i was depressed but it wasnt until 2007 when i was diagnosed with it..i also show signs of a bipolar victim..Im trying my best to make sure that i stay off the booze and just try to make the best of things..i love my mother and her family along with my step family..i consider them as my real family then my own..after my dad told me he was gay and he left us i was adopted by my step father who is a truely wonderful man..thats the only good thing in my life..but like i said im trying to make it through one day at a time..people often JUDGE me because they are fucking stupid and don't know me or what I've been through..These are what you call BULLYS..I dont get why people do that...but all i know is that im SERIOUSLY sick and tired of it
Hi..im Gracie..Im 15, my parents are now divorced for about 6 or 7 years they seperated when i was 3 and got back together for 6 yrs then at the age of 9 they were over for good, when i turened 10 my father took off and moved to CA where im now living with him..i've been through alot with my life, whether it was moving, fighting, drugs, and alcohol..my life isnt pretty..im very emotional..i always get the feeling that im never going to be happy..its hard each day for me to get up and face the world
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Interests
i love horror movies and criminal mind psychology
i love horror movies and criminal mind psychology
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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feeling
June 7, 2009 4:17pm
feeling somewhat suicidal again..i was great for so long then a ghost from my past appeared and now it's toying with me and i want nothing more …
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Harvey Milk my hero..
December 7, 2008 4:30am
This blog is dedicated in the honnour and memorie of the 1st openly gay man who was brutally murdered in the San Fran city hall for something he …
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what if I wasn't here anymore?
November 11, 2008 9:01pm
Sometimes when i get so low down in this pitch black hole like i am now i often ask myself "what if i wasn't here anymore?..." i ask …
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i fucking hate my dad
October 29, 2008 10:39pm
he fucking emotionally mentally and verbally abuses me..and he fucking thinks its okay!!! I mean im getting really fucking tired of all of this!!! i …
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Hugbook
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Hello and where have you been? I think of you often and I hope you are doing okay.
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Hug
When are you moving? Why the move?
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Hug
Hello and how are things going? I haven't heard from you in quite some time. I hope all is well.
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Here is a big hug for you. :-)
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Nope, I'm in the UK, Chester is a small village next to Manchester.
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Support Groups
Close Depression Supporters
My name is Gracie & my life is a big nightmare..not a day goes by where i try so hard to be happy..im 15 & diagnosed with clinical depression thats still not been treated..my docters tell me i've had this for many yrs..i grew up in a very broken home & still am..i've tried to commit suicide multiple times and almost succeeded 2 of those times, i drink to feel better or i do self mutilation..i need help..but no one is ever there for me..life gets so hard each day..i just want to be fixed..
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me?..Thats so untrue...my dad verbally,emotionally and mentally abuses me all the time..words DO hurt and when people say something mean to you..its been and has been hurting me since elementary-high school...kids,my siblings and even my father still do this to me...it isnt right and it isnt fair..when will this end?? how can i ever deal with this without hurting myself or trying to take my life?...Help...
Open Anxiety
I get bad anxiety attacks when Im out in public..when im usually with 2 or 3 friends im okay i dont feel like im going to have an attack at any time..but when im with a bunch of people i start to feel like the walls are closing in on me and that i cant breath my heart races and i start to cry from the stress..it gets to the point sometimes where i dont even feel comfortable in my OWN skin..
Open Stress Management
I developed chronic stress headaches that started to affect my heart and my whole body due to stress..i became so tired and in so much agony that after awhile i found that it didnt matter how much stress i was in i couldnt manage it
Treatments
- Anger Management Working / Worked
- i have lost alot of anger...
- Music Working / Worked
- i usually blast some band that i can connect with dance around sing to it and watch the music video to it then eventually feel better
Open Breakups & Divorce
my mom and dad got divorced when i was 9 and here i am 6 yrs later still hurting from it..my dad moved away to california and left me and my family behind..i eventually moved out here to fine out that my dad was actually gay..shocker huh?
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
- my parents hate each other se whenever i bring up my mother my father scolds me and talks trash about my mom...i love my mom...shes my best friend...
- Time Not Working
- its been 6 years and i still feel so raw and numb about my parents splitting up..i know its not my fault or my siblings fault but it still seems like it is...
Open Self-Injury
i use to self injure myself as some sort of "emotion manager" or just to take all of my hurt out on myself..didnt matter where i was who i was with and what type of object id use to cut up my writsts...im proud to say its been well over 15 months since i last hurt myself on purpose but i still have my scars as a reminder of how stupid i was
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- my mother and my aunts helped me through that nightmare..im so thankful for them
Open Cervical Cancer
my older sister stephanie called me not to long ago and broke down..she told me that she had cervical cancer from hpv..i nearly cried..i lost my older brother mike to cancer in 2006 now my sister has to suffer? im scared for her because i love her so much...what am i going to do?
Open Rape
just trying to confront something that was a nightmare...so here i am, i was 14..thats all you need to know....
Open Families & Friends of Gays & Lesbians
when my parents got divorced 6 yrs ago my father came out and told me that he was gay i wasnt bothered by it or anything..i really dont care i love my dad and im proud of him still raising me and teaching me more about gays..ever since he told me i have been more active in speaking about gay rights and equality for them all
