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TheScream 
1:25pm, December 30, 2008
The clock on my computer reads 8:57 AM. My eyes wander around the room while I wait, but always end up gazing at the time. The sound of a ringing phone waves from my headset into my ear. I wait, yet no one picks up. I check my list for the next number and then begin to dial. I hear the ringing again, and I wait ritualistically as I have so many times before. After several rings a voice answers my call, however speaking in such a way of not expecting a response.The voice instructs me to leave a brief message after the tone. The tone sounds and I speak, “Hello, my name is Stephen. I’m calling on behalf of…”
My next call is a disconnected number, then a busy signal, another voicemail, and so on and so forth. Not many answer the phone in the mornings, and I understand. If a telemarketer were calling me in the morning I would sure as hell not answer the phone either. Though no matter how many times I dial my phone, every call seems foreign to me. I always hesitate to start pressing numbers on the keypad. The chances on the next person hanging up on me, while I’m in mid-sentence, are quite high.
Next number on the list… phone rings… eyes wander… and then rest upon a paper clip next to my keyboard. The previous day it was thrown over into my cubicle from my co-worker’s. It was probably tossed due to boredom; our work environment is not the liveliest and most interesting.
I pick up the paper clip and begin to bend it as straightly possible. And out from the bliss-void corners of my mind, came a thought I least expected. I focus upon the thought for several moments then suddenly I hear, “Hello?” Oh, shit… where are my thoughts? “Uh… hi. My name is Stephen and I’m… uh, with…”
I completely screwed that one up. I slowly return my mind into its previous state, bliss-less. I hold the less-than-perfect straightened paper clip and gently slide it across my hand. I unchain my mind, free from its physical location, far from work affairs, and into the empty spaces of time. As my eyes gaze aimlessly while the phone rings before, my mind wanders. I bring myself back to my desk and decide to act upon my loosely gathered thoughts. Since I do not have a knife, I shall improvise. I raise the metal clip and quickly force it downward upon the side of my hand. Little blood is drawn, but the feeling sparks the fire within.
Just several times I use this method to satisfy and then go back to work. As I make my calls I continue to hold the clip and fiddle with it. It gives me comfort, almost as if I can experience the sensation whenever I please. I feel safe, secure, and in control while holding it.
A little paper clip has gotten the better of me.
My next call is a disconnected number, then a busy signal, another voicemail, and so on and so forth. Not many answer the phone in the mornings, and I understand. If a telemarketer were calling me in the morning I would sure as hell not answer the phone either. Though no matter how many times I dial my phone, every call seems foreign to me. I always hesitate to start pressing numbers on the keypad. The chances on the next person hanging up on me, while I’m in mid-sentence, are quite high.
Next number on the list… phone rings… eyes wander… and then rest upon a paper clip next to my keyboard. The previous day it was thrown over into my cubicle from my co-worker’s. It was probably tossed due to boredom; our work environment is not the liveliest and most interesting.
I pick up the paper clip and begin to bend it as straightly possible. And out from the bliss-void corners of my mind, came a thought I least expected. I focus upon the thought for several moments then suddenly I hear, “Hello?” Oh, shit… where are my thoughts? “Uh… hi. My name is Stephen and I’m… uh, with…”
I completely screwed that one up. I slowly return my mind into its previous state, bliss-less. I hold the less-than-perfect straightened paper clip and gently slide it across my hand. I unchain my mind, free from its physical location, far from work affairs, and into the empty spaces of time. As my eyes gaze aimlessly while the phone rings before, my mind wanders. I bring myself back to my desk and decide to act upon my loosely gathered thoughts. Since I do not have a knife, I shall improvise. I raise the metal clip and quickly force it downward upon the side of my hand. Little blood is drawn, but the feeling sparks the fire within.
Just several times I use this method to satisfy and then go back to work. As I make my calls I continue to hold the clip and fiddle with it. It gives me comfort, almost as if I can experience the sensation whenever I please. I feel safe, secure, and in control while holding it.
A little paper clip has gotten the better of me.
Comments
You're really good with words.
tattyhead184
I am here if you need to talk
Ladybugg
You really have a talent for writing.
don't forget we're here if you need us x
DarkFireDreams
I wish I could write like that. Very nice. :)
BoneDeep
absolutely amazing.
Punkee