J's upcoming visit.
September 15, 2008 4:39pm
It looks like J will be coming to stay with me starting on the 30th of Sept. She said that is the day they will release her. I hope Iwill have a …
shameonme
7:44pm, September 18, 2008
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About Me
shameonme
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About Me
I am new to life alone, I do not know why or how it happen so quickly.I recently moved back to my hometown to be close to family.they have their own lives, families.Why am I so lonely?Recently I was diagnosed with some depression, what is some depression? Wouldn't you be depressed being alone after all these years, now with only my pain as my companion. I need friends, my friends from my youth have all grown up and away from me. I am alone in my home town now.How did life get away from me so fast? Where did it go? Did I turn my head and it went by, he went away?
I am new to life alone, I do not know why or how it happen so quickly.I recently moved back to my hometown to be close to family.they have their own lives, families.Why am I so lonely?Recently I was diagnosed with some depression, what is some depression? Wouldn't you be depressed being alone after all these years, now with only my pain as my companion. I need friends, my friends from my youth have all grown up and away from me. I am alone in my home town now.How did life get away from me so fast?
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Interests
I don't know anymore, for years it was HIM, and US.Our lives, our children, US. Although he was so bad to me, I kept it hidden as wives do..Yes I know it was wrong to let him be. In the end, I get big house, all I want, but him.I still miss him. That is where the shameonme comes from.My children, my beautiful children, grown torn and they should not be, none of this was their fault.I let him do it, hid it for him.Protected him from the public. I get my big house whereever I want.Now I am alone in my hometown. Yes I am depressed. I need friends.True friends, I have found in the last 25 years living this type of lifestyle these "friends" are never true, maybe that is what I thought I would find with my house again in my hometown.I am no longer poor Barb from the poor side anymore. That is my shameonme.
I don't know anymore, for years it was HIM, and US.Our lives, our children, US. Although he was so bad
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Journal
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Journal Entry for September 9, 2008
September 9, 2008 4:38pm
I marked this as tragic as I feel my life is, at this point other then my children. I feel the worst right now for my sisiter in law. She tried to …
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Hugbook
Hug
Thank you for the flowers! Here's a hug for you, too! Hugs, Joanieg
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Flower
Hi! I meant to click on the flowers! Sorry! Thanks for your hug! I appreciate it! Sincerely, Joanieg
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Hug
Here are some flowers for you to brighten your day! You don't have to go through this alone! I hope you feel better! Sincerely, Joanieg
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Hug
Hi Barb, I'm so glad that I can be of help to you. I'm kind of new to this website myself but since I've been here, I've made some new friends, who are very supportive and understanding of what I'm going through and I also understand what they are going through because we all have chronic pain and it can't hurt to talk about your feelings and maybe at the same time you can make some new friends and get some new insight into getting some pain relief for your pain problem. I understand completely! I hope you feel better soon! Take care of yourself! Hugs, Joanieg
Hug
Wow, there is so many things I'd like to say to you, but I just don't know where to start. First of all, you don't have to be alone; especially being on here. There are so many wonderful people who have the biggest hearts, and they will reach out to you; you just have to talk to them. I want to reach out to you, because I felt your pain reading your profile, and it truly broke my heart. I am so sorry that you are not only feeling chronic pain, but deep emotional pain as well. I wish I could take it away; I really do. If you ever need to talk, or I should say write someone, than please send me a message, and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Please, try and meet people on here. because you will be amazed about how amazing they truly are. I have made so many wonderful friends. Take Care, and I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers, Lana
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Support Groups
Close Back Pain
I had back surgery in 2002,due to an injury. It was never given the chance to heal correctly. I did do all the DR's said that was within my control. Now maybe I can heal.I had or have tried all meds there are and treatments. Money buys you everything,except peace of mind and escape from pain.
Treatments
- Acupressure Not Working
- Acupuncture Not Working
- Bedrest Not Working
- I have laid in bed for days in end,or not laid in bed at all.Whenacute I will lay down for a bit,then get up again. Nothing helps.
- Chiropractic Adjustment Working / Worked
- Helps temporary.
- Cortisone (Injection) Not Working
- Fentanyl Not Working
- too strong for me,made me sick to my stomach
- Fioricet Not Working
- didn't work
- Hydrocodone Not Working
- not strong enough
- Morphine Working / Worked
- works,other then we seem to up the dosage every 6 months or so then what?
- Relaxation Not Working
- I am always on vacation and always alone.
- Stretching Working / Worked
- yoga works,have someone come in to do it 3 x a week when I am able
- Oxycodone Working / Worked
- I have it for my break through pain.On highest dose they make now.
Close Chronic Pain
Chronic pain since 1998,from back injury. I had back surgery in 2002.I have had pain and on lots of medication since. Now I am recently diagnose with some depression.I should have known that was coming shouldn't I have? Sciatic is chronic!
Treatments
- Meditation Working / Worked
- When I can get my mind there.
- Morphine Working / Worked
- It works.Sometimes
- Oxycodone Working / Worked
- highest dose made now,so then what?
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
I just found out Wednesday of this week that my EX sister in law,who is closer to me then my sister.She tried to commit suicide.I went to be with her as she asked for me. I was told to leave by my EX.He has so much power there.I stayed and saw her in private.I do not know why she did this. She does not know why,I need to understand why,that is why I am here.
Treatments
