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kswat 
12:53pm, March 27, 2009
Visited Dave tonight..he is starting to lose faith. He doesn't think any of the prayers are being answered..Public Defender talked to him last night..The DA is asking for 20yrs and the parole board recommended 5yrs...I am fearful for him because tonight he said he that after sentencing he would either be going back to county or he would be hanging it up if he gets sent to state..He didn't do it and state would kill him. I don't know what the future holds but I do know if it's bad he doesn't even want to have a future. I wish so much that there was something that I could do...I can't even think straight at the moment to even continue writing so I'll end this for now and see what tomorrow brings
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I am so sorry for you, honey. My son will be going through the same thing Dave is going through, shortly. As a mother, I am terrified for him, just like you are for Dave. It's like a bad nightmare that we can't wake from. My son wants to go to court but he could get life if he does! I pray your son find comfort in our prayers. They do have church in my son's jail~~it truly helps him! I am praying for you and your family.
flmombs
Our faith can be challenged, but that is when we have to give full surrender. If we can actually just turn it over, our higher power will sooth us. The only way that I have been able to cope is to turn it all over to God and to practice continually refocusing on the positive things in my world. We all have positive things to think about. Dave has you and your love. He is alive and where there is life there is hope. Sometimes we just have to take deep slow healing breaths and use a nice cool dampened washcloth to be soothed and comforted. Then if you turn it all entirely over to God, whenever you have emotional pain, you will find peace. I found that I am constantly having to turn it over, cause it hits me several time a day, but each time I am comforted when I do. It is not a one time thing for me.
I know that when I realized that my son would likely see 5 to life, it was totally traumatic. We have more endurance then we think. We will make it through and so will our loved ones.
RS
rippedsoul