kswat's Journal

Today has onlly gotten worse, I am starting to slip back into depression. I can not find a way out to the jail and I feel like everything is falling apart again. At least when I see him I feel better. Don't know how much longer I will be able to stay on here, My phone and internet will probably be the next thing to go if I don't find some help. Somedays I ask why this has happend. I know God will see me through but it seems like forever. I know I will be ok, I just get down in the dumps for a few days then I suck it up and try to find a solution. I just miss him so much. Last night was difficult when his son was crying for his daddy to come home. I just say he will come home as soon as he can and that he loves and misses him very much and that he doesn't want to be away from us its just that he had to go away for a bit and he will be home someday.  He hasn't had sentencing yet so I cant even say when he will be home. It may not be for a very long time. It breaks my heart to see my 2yr go through such a hard time. He developed seperation anxiety and has started acting out since this happened. I know he is hurting and doesn't know how to deal with it or how to express himself. My daughters are also having a hard time, they say he is more of a dad to them than their own dad was or ever will be. Things were going so good then they all fell apart. I wish I knew somebody here in the justice department...seems thats the only way you get a fair shake. I pray to God to help us all through this.