kswat's Journal

Went to the jail to visit tonight...was afraid to go because I had to tell him that the jimmy was repossessed, I knew he wouldn't be mad, was just afraid he would be disappointed....the only thing he was worried about was how the kids and I would manage and how we would be able to go visit....The only thing that keeps us from going totataly insane is being able to see each other those 3 days a week. I love and miss him, I just wish sentencing would come, even though it might be heartbreaking to see the amount of time he may get..at least the waiting and not knowing would be over.

oh and on another not I would just like to vent a little about how they treat our loved ones in prision...I took my 2 yr old son to see his daddy only to find out we weren't allowed to because they were on lockdown and the visit was taken away....Alot of people like myself are financially struggling to even make it day to day and with gas prices as high as they are we dont really have the gas to drive there just to be turned away...It is so unfair that everyone on the block has to pay for other peoples mistakes. Like I stated earlier sometimes the only thing keeping me sane and giving me a reason to wake up in the morning is being able to see him. It is very hard and heart breaking to have to tell my son that he can't see his daddy. Do the people in the DOC care..hell no...half the time they don't even aknowledge or treat our loved ones as the loving, caring human beings that they are. As far as innocent until proven guilty they should put it the other way around. Even being accused of something can ruin your reputation. People are hypocrits they judge before they even know you. I am so sick and tired of people asking me why I am still with him when he was found guilty....until you have been through our justice system you don't know how unfair and crooked it is. As for the people we thought were our friends then turned around and mad these accusations against them...I just wish they could see how they have torn our family apart and mad our life hell...I've rambled on and had scatterd thoughts because I'm not good at putting my feelings into words but I do feel better...I have learned it is ok to cry, bitch, feel sad and defeated...but then I have to pull it together, get determined and work on a soulution to fix it.  I thank anyone who has read this for taking the time to listen to what I had to say