kswat's Journal

My fiance was found guilty by a jury that had him convicted before he even went to trial. The public defender screwed us over from the very start of things by not even talking to us until it was too late to file any appeals. I know that he DID NOT do what they are accusing him of. He is 31 and I am 41, we have a 2 year old son together and I have 2 daughters 15, and 19 from a previous marriage. We had just moved to a new house and bought a new vehicle, things were going really good until that horrible day when they took him away. They offered a 5 yr state plea but we feel that an innocent person should not take a plea bargain just because it would be shorter time than what going to trial would be. He's been in county since June 11th and sentencing should be sometime in September. He could face a min. of 20 yrs. I Love this man with all my heart and I am lost without him. I try to stay strong for the kids and his mother who has an inoperatable brain tumor. Somedays I don't know where I can find the strength to even get out of bed. Yesterday, the vehicle he was so proud of getting got repossessed. I have been looking for work but have had no luck, money is running out and soon I won't be able to pay any of the bills. We both feel like such failures as parents. I don't know where to turn. They say God will not give you anything you can not handle but these past few days I have been questioning that. I dont know why this happend or how I am supposed to continue. The physchiatrist lady at the jail told him a few weeks after he got there that he was probably looking at 6 months and just last week she said he would probably only have 3 months left to serve and a years probation. People who have been in jail said she knows everyone judges lawyers and such and if she tells you something its pretty much true. but the letter from the PD said he wouldnt put in for bail reduction because its  highly unlikly that he would get it and that the time he stays in would count towards his sentence, which will probably be lengthy (his words) I dont know what to believe we never thought it would come to this. I now I've spelled words incorrectly and forgot to capitalize and punctuate rite but I tend to do that when I'm upset I guess writing helps and thats why I did this.